PS: I Hate You Summary, Characters and Themes

PS: I Hate You by Lauren Connolly is an emotional second-chance romance intertwined with grief, adventure, and self-discovery. 

After losing her beloved brother Josh to cancer, Maddie Sanderson is left with an unusual final request—to scatter his ashes across eight states alongside the one person she never wanted to see again, Dominic Perry. Once her childhood crush and later the man who broke her heart, Dom now stands as her reluctant travel companion. As they journey across the country, tensions flare, old wounds resurface, and unresolved feelings threaten to change everything. Can Maddie forgive Dom, or will the past keep them apart forever?

Summary

Maddie Sanderson is devastated when her older brother Josh dies from cancer. At his funeral, she’s blindsided by an unwelcome face from her past—Dominic (Dom) Perry, Josh’s lifelong best friend and the man who shattered her heart years ago. 

As if mourning her brother wasn’t difficult enough, Maddie soon learns that Josh has one last request: for her and Dom to travel together to eight destinations and scatter his ashes. Maddie is furious—why would Josh do this to her? 

Dom is just as determined to honor Josh’s wishes, and since the letter leaves no room for argument, she reluctantly agrees.

Their journey begins in Delaware, where they wade into the ocean to release Josh’s ashes. It should be a simple task, but tension lingers between them. Maddie resents Dom, not just for their history but for the way he still affects her. 

She learns that Dom and his ex-wife, Rosaline, are divorced—an unexpected revelation that only adds to her confusion. As they continue traveling, Josh’s letters guide them to places filled with meaning, forcing them to confront both their grief and their past.

With each new destination, memories resurface—some filled with warmth and laughter, others laced with heartbreak. Maddie remembers the young girl who once adored Dom, the boy who had been her best friend before he pushed her away. 

Dom, meanwhile, tries to break through Maddie’s walls, but she refuses to let him in. She’s determined to keep her heart locked away, fearing she’ll only be hurt again.

Halfway through the trip, emotions run high. Maddie and Dom reach a place significant to both of them, and for the first time, they talk honestly about their history. 

Dom confesses that he regrets the way he handled things in the past. His marriage had been a mistake—one he entered out of obligation, not love. He had believed he was doing the right thing, but now he sees how much pain he caused Maddie in the process. Though she appreciates his honesty, Maddie isn’t ready to forgive him.

As they near the final few states, something shifts. Maddie starts to see Dom differently—not just as the man who broke her heart, but as someone who has changed. He’s patient, understanding, and willing to own up to his past mistakes.

A night stranded in a motel during a snowstorm forces them into close quarters, stirring emotions neither of them can ignore. But just as Maddie begins to lower her guard, fear creeps in again. 

Can she trust him, or is she setting herself up for heartbreak?

Their journey culminates in Alaska, Josh’s final resting place. Here, Maddie finally allows herself to grieve fully, releasing not just her brother’s ashes, but also the weight of the past. Dom is there to support her, proving through his actions—not just words—that he is different now. 

In the quiet wilderness, Maddie realizes that she has been running from her own feelings, afraid to risk being hurt again.

Back home, Maddie and Dom struggle to return to normal life. The journey changed them, but what now? 

Maddie is tempted to push Dom away one last time, but he refuses to let her go without a fight. In a heated confrontation, he lays everything on the line, confessing that he has always loved her. 

Maddie finally admits what she’s been denying—she still loves him too. The fear that once held her back no longer feels as powerful as the hope of a second chance.

In the final chapters, Maddie and Dom take a trip—this time for themselves, not Josh. Their love story is far from perfect, but it’s real, and Maddie chooses to embrace it. The epilogue, set a few summers later, reveals a glimpse of their future. Maddie has let go of her fears, and she and Dom are happy, remembering Josh with love rather than sorrow. 

His final wish was not just about scattering his ashes—it was about healing, love, and finding their way back to each other.

Characters

Maddie Sanderson

Maddie is a character who starts the story with a lot of emotional baggage, primarily stemming from her grief over her brother Josh’s death and her unresolved feelings for Dominic (Dom) Perry. Initially, Maddie is bitter, angry, and closed-off, especially regarding Dom. He is the man who broke her heart years ago, and the idea of traveling with him to scatter her brother’s ashes is something she resents.

Throughout the journey, Maddie is forced to confront not only her grief but also her complicated past with Dom. As they visit each destination, Maddie’s emotions begin to shift from anger and distrust to vulnerability and acceptance.

She starts to realize that much of her resentment toward Dom is tied to the love she once felt for him. By the end of the story, Maddie’s arc is one of healing, self-discovery, and learning to trust again.

She ultimately chooses to embrace love over fear, deciding that she’s willing to give Dom a second chance. Maddie acknowledges her past fears while opening herself to a potential future with him.

Dominic (Dom) Perry

Dominic Perry enters the story as a man full of regret and guilt, particularly due to the end of his marriage to Rosaline and the way he left Maddie years ago. He’s Josh’s lifelong best friend, and he feels deeply responsible for honoring Josh’s final wishes by helping scatter his ashes across the country with Maddie.

Dom’s journey throughout the book is one of redemption. Initially, he is stoic, seemingly emotionally distant, and fixated on completing the task, but as the journey unfolds, it becomes clear that he’s also dealing with his own past regrets.

He opens up to Maddie, explaining the reasons behind his failed marriage and offering sincere apologies for the way he hurt her years ago. Dom proves himself to be patient, willing to work through the tension with Maddie, and committed to showing her that he is a different person now.

His character arc reveals his growth from a man consumed with guilt to someone who is devoted and willing to fight for a second chance with Maddie. By the end of the book, Dom is no longer the man who broke Maddie’s heart, but rather someone who has matured and is ready to love her in a healthy, patient way.

Josh Sanderson (Posthumously)

Although Josh is dead from the very beginning of the book, his presence is felt throughout the entire story. Josh’s final act is to leave behind a series of letters that guide Maddie and Dom on their journey.

His role is instrumental in not only fulfilling his own final wishes but also in helping to reconnect Maddie and Dom. His death is the catalyst for the characters’ emotional growth, particularly Maddie’s.

Through the letters, Josh encourages both Maddie and Dom to confront their grief, face their past, and heal. Even after his death, Josh continues to play a pivotal role in helping his sister and his best friend reconcile, offering both the hope of closure and the possibility of a renewed relationship.

Josh’s death, while tragic, serves as a means to bring healing to those he left behind, especially Maddie and Dom, as they complete his journey together. Josh’s character, though only present in memory, is the driving force that facilitates the characters’ emotional journeys.

Themes

The Unfinished Conversations That Shape Us

Grief is often explored in literature as a force of devastation, but in PS: I Hate You, it is not just an emotion—it is an architect of change, a sculptor of relationships, and a battlefield where love and regret collide. Maddie and Dom are not merely grieving Josh; they are grieving the versions of themselves they lost when they broke apart years ago.

Maddie’s hatred for Dom is interwoven with unresolved pain, just as Dom’s guilt is tangled with missed chances and unspoken words. Josh’s letters act as posthumous mediators, forcing them to confront what they might have otherwise buried with him.

The road trip is not just about scattering ashes—it is about finishing conversations that were left incomplete, addressing wounds that were ignored, and acknowledging that grief does not just come from death, but also from love that was never given a fair chance to thrive.

This theme challenges the simplistic idea that closure comes from acceptance. Instead, it argues that sometimes closure comes from opening old wounds, understanding them, and deciding to move forward despite the pain.

When Resentment Becomes a Form of Self-Punishment

Maddie believes that by holding onto her anger, she is protecting herself, ensuring that Dom never gets another opportunity to hurt her. But what she fails to recognize is that her refusal to forgive is not just a punishment for him—it is a prison for her.

Throughout the journey, we see how deeply her inability to let go affects her ability to heal from both Josh’s death and her past heartbreak. Dom, on the other hand, lives with the weight of his own regrets, but instead of being fueled by anger, he is shackled by guilt.

Their dynamic reveals how unforgiveness can manifest in two ways: as a weapon wielded outward (Maddie’s resentment) and as a chain worn inward (Dom’s self-blame). Forgiveness is not treated as a simple, redemptive act—it is depicted as a struggle, a process that requires vulnerability, and, most importantly, a conscious choice to stop reliving the same pain over and over again.

It is only when Maddie realizes that she is not just keeping Dom at a distance, but also depriving herself of happiness, that she begins to reconsider her stance. The novel ultimately presents forgiveness not as an act of mercy for the other person, but as a necessary liberation of the self.

How Time Reshapes Love, Loss, and Perception

One of the most compelling aspects of PS: I Hate You is how it deconstructs the idea that people remain frozen in the identities they held in the past. Maddie still sees Dom through the lens of her nineteen-year-old heartbreak, convinced that he is the same man who rejected her.

Dom, in turn, sees Maddie as someone who despises him beyond repair, assuming that her anger is permanent and immutable. But as the journey progresses, the novel raises an essential question: Can a person truly be judged for who they were, rather than who they have become?

This theme challenges the static nature of perception, forcing Maddie to see that while her pain was real, the man standing beside her now is not the same one who hurt her back then. Likewise, Dom is forced to acknowledge that his past actions, however unintentional, had a profound impact on Maddie, and he cannot expect her to suddenly accept him without proof that he has changed.

Their evolution throughout the novel mirrors the way time forces us to reevaluate people, not just in relationships but in life itself. It suggests that identity is not a singular, fixed point but a constantly shifting spectrum shaped by experience, loss, and growth.

The Reluctance to Trust What Has Already Hurt You

Romance in this novel is not a sweeping, passionate rekindling—it is a slow, hesitant, painful process where love is constantly at war with fear. Maddie has every reason to be wary of Dom, just as Dom has every reason to doubt whether he deserves another chance.

What makes their love story compelling is that it does not rely on external forces keeping them apart; the true antagonist is Maddie’s fear of being vulnerable again. Love, in this case, is not just about desire or nostalgia—it is about trust. And trust, as the novel makes clear, is far more difficult to rebuild than it is to destroy.

Every time Maddie starts to lean toward Dom, she pulls back, not because she does not care, but because caring has consequences. The novel frames love as an act of courage, where choosing to be with someone means choosing to risk pain again.

Dom, in contrast, has already made that choice—he knows what he wants, and his struggle is in proving to Maddie that she will not regret making the same choice. Ultimately, the story argues that love is not simply about feeling—it is about deciding, over and over again, that hope is worth more than fear.

The Way the Dead Continue to Shape the Living

Josh may be gone, but he is undeniably the most influential character in the novel. His presence is woven into every conversation, every argument, every moment of reflection.

His letters serve as an emotional compass, guiding Maddie and Dom toward realizations they may never have come to on their own. But beyond that, Josh represents a truth that many people struggle with—the fact that we often do not fully understand someone’s impact on us until they are no longer there.

Maddie and Dom’s grief is not just about missing Josh; it is about recognizing all the ways he influenced them, and all the things they never got the chance to say. The novel suggests that the dead do not simply vanish from our lives; they linger in our decisions, our memories, and the ways we choose to carry them forward.

Josh’s matchmaking-from-the-grave approach is not just a narrative device—it is a testament to how love, even in death, can push people toward healing and reconciliation.

The Weight of the Unsaid

For years, Maddie and Dom’s relationship has been defined by everything they did not say. Maddie never told Dom the full extent of her heartbreak, and Dom never explained why he pushed her away.

This silence breeds resentment, assumptions, and emotional stagnation, proving that avoiding difficult conversations does not prevent pain—it prolongs it. Throughout their journey, they are forced to verbalize feelings that have been suppressed for too long, and each confrontation brings them closer to the truth.

The novel argues that silence is not neutral—it is an active force that shapes relationships, often in destructive ways. By finally giving voice to their pain, Maddie and Dom are able to move beyond it, proving that honesty, no matter how painful, is ultimately more healing than avoidance.

Finding Meaning in Loss

At its core, PS: I Hate You is about how loss can either break a person or reshape them into someone stronger. Maddie and Dom’s trip is not just about fulfilling Josh’s last wish—it is about redefining their own identities in the aftermath of losing him.

Every destination is a checkpoint, marking their gradual shift from grief as a burden to grief as a form of remembrance. Maddie, in particular, undergoes a transformation from someone who is emotionally paralyzed by loss to someone who allows it to change her for the better.

The novel suggests that while grief never truly fades, it can evolve into something that coexists with love, growth, and even happiness. Josh’s absence is a wound that never fully heals, but by the end of the novel, it is no longer just a source of pain—it is a reminder of a life well lived and a love that continues beyond death.