How to Sleep at Night Summary, Characters and Themes
How to Sleep at Night by Elizabeth Harris is a deeply personal and politically resonant novel that explores the cost of ambition, identity, and desire in a divided America.
The narrative centers on a handful of interconnected characters—Ethan, a gay Republican candidate; Gabe, his liberal husband; Kate, a political journalist; and Nicole, a suburban mother grappling with a lost sense of self. Through their intertwined lives, the book confronts the tension between personal values and public personas, loyalty and betrayal, and the emotional weight of compromise. Harris crafts a story that’s both intimate and reflective of larger cultural fault lines.
Summary
In How to Sleep at Night, Elizabeth Harris crafts a layered narrative that follows the emotional and political unraveling of several characters whose lives are intimately connected.
Each character grapples with identity, loyalty, and the cost of their choices.
The story begins with Ethan, a successful corporate lawyer in New York, announcing to his husband Gabe that he plans to run for Congress—as a Republican.
This revelation is a shock not only because of Ethan’s shift from his past Democratic stance but also because it ignites a deeper crisis in their marriage.
Gabe, a liberal high school history teacher, finds himself emotionally unmoored by Ethan’s decision.
The political divide in their relationship, once manageable, now feels insurmountable.
Their twenty-year relationship is tested as Ethan leans into a version of conservatism that Gabe finds morally objectionable.
As Ethan’s campaign gains momentum, Gabe is torn between his love for his husband and his own values.
The campaign becomes a symbol of everything Gabe resents—opportunism, compromise, and ideological betrayal.
Ethan presents himself as a “new kind of Republican”: openly gay, economically moderate, socially flexible.
But to Gabe, the campaign feels hollow and damaging, particularly in a world where the right wing has embraced increasingly radical positions.
Parallel to this central conflict, we meet Nicole, a suburban mother of two whose life is defined by routine and emotional disconnect.
Her marriage to Austin is stable on the surface but devoid of intimacy and understanding.
When she sees Kate Keller—a journalist and former lover from college—on TV, her world shifts.
Memories of passion and purpose resurface.
A quiet restlessness begins to churn beneath the tidy façade of her domestic life.
Kate, Ethan’s sister and a well-known political journalist, is herself disillusioned with the industry she once loved.
Covering extremist political figures has left her jaded, and her recent assignments have pushed her ethical boundaries.
When Nicole reaches out, the past returns with emotional urgency.
The women rekindle their relationship, though it’s fraught with guilt, desire, and the limitations imposed by adulthood and responsibility.
Nicole’s affair with Kate brings her both vitality and dread.
It forces her to confront not only her marriage but also the self she abandoned when she chose a life of safety over authenticity.
At home, she faces a crumbling emotional bond with Austin and the mounting pressure of motherhood.
Her son, Henry, seems to intuit her inner turmoil, which intensifies her guilt and confusion.
Meanwhile, Kate must deal with the professional fallout of her personal entanglements.
Her connection to Ethan’s campaign becomes a source of suspicion at work.
A veiled threat from her editor leaves her wondering if she’ll be forced to choose between her family and her journalistic integrity.
The once-clear lines between personal and professional life blur into an ethical and emotional minefield.
Gabe’s discomfort with Ethan’s politics reaches a breaking point when he overhears his husband endorsing extremist policies during a fundraising call.
Ethan’s use of language like the “Blocking Wokeness Act” and his praise for hardline candidates further alienate Gabe.
He walks away—not just from the conversation, but symbolically from the man he once knew.
A harsh political ad surfaces branding Ethan as a “RINO”—Republican in Name Only.
This moment reveals the dangers of political centrism in an increasingly polarized landscape.
Ethan is caught between worlds, not fully accepted by the far right, and no longer embraced by his own family.
By the end of the third chapter, each character finds themselves emotionally adrift.
Nicole’s marriage is cracking, Kate’s career hangs in the balance, Gabe’s trust in Ethan is eroding, and Ethan is flailing in the cutthroat world of politics.
The novel paints a portrait of people pushed to their emotional limits.
Every personal decision is shadowed by political consequence—and where sleep, or peace of mind, feels almost impossible to find.
Characters
Ethan
Ethan is a complex character whose ambition drives the narrative forward. As a corporate lawyer, he initially represents a more centrist political stance, but his decision to shift rightward and run as a Republican, despite his past as a Democrat, marks a significant transformation.
Ethan’s desire to represent a “new kind” of Republican—moderate and openly gay—adds another layer of complexity. It underscores the tension between personal identity and political alignment. This transformation is not only a political shift but also a reflection of Ethan’s internal struggle with his evolving values.
His ambition is challenged by the fallout from his ideological pivot, particularly in his marriage with Gabe, where political differences create emotional rifts. Ethan’s narrative explores the cost of ambition in the context of personal relationships and family loyalty.
Gabe
Gabe, Ethan’s husband, is a history teacher whose identity is rooted in liberal values. His internal conflict forms a key emotional center in the story.
As Ethan leans into right-wing politics, Gabe grapples with the tension between his loyalty to Ethan and his deep discomfort with the values Ethan is now endorsing. Gabe’s character is defined by a strong moral compass and a love for Ethan that runs deep, but his emotional and ethical struggle grows as the campaign progresses.
Gabe’s dilemma is not just political—it is personal. He is torn between his long-standing relationship with Ethan and his growing sense of alienation from the man he married. Gabe’s internal conflict serves as a poignant exploration of how love, values, and identity intersect in a deeply polarized political climate.
Nicole
Nicole represents the emotional and psychological undercurrent of the novel. She is a suburban mother and wife who feels disconnected from her life and the choices she has made.
Her relationship with her husband, Austin, is marked by emotional detachment and a lack of meaningful communication. Nicole’s past with Kate, her former lover, brings up feelings of nostalgia and longing for the passionate romance they shared in college.
This emotional rekindling becomes a catalyst for Nicole to question her current life choices. As she navigates her responsibilities as a mother and her yearning for something more fulfilling, Nicole’s journey becomes a reflection of the larger struggles of modern women—balancing personal desires with familial obligations, and questioning the compromises made for the sake of stability.
Her affair with Kate symbolizes both an escape from the monotony of her domestic life and a search for validation and emotional connection.
Kate
Kate is a seasoned political journalist who feels increasingly detached from her career. Her profession, once a source of pride, now seems filled with compromises and ethical dilemmas, particularly as she covers far-right political figures like her brother Ethan.
Kate’s narrative is marked by a sense of weariness as she reflects on her career shift—from international reporting to focusing on divisive domestic politics. This professional disillusionment is compounded by personal conflicts, especially her rekindled relationship with Nicole, which complicates her role as a journalist.
Kate’s character is a study in contrasts—she is both successful and dissatisfied, public and private, deeply committed to her career but at the same time longing for emotional intimacy and connection.
Her internal battle between professional ethics and personal loyalty adds a layer of tension to the narrative. Kate struggles with her role in her brother’s controversial campaign.
Themes
The Intersection of Politics and Personal Identity
One of the most prominent themes in How to Sleep at Night is the tension between personal identity and political ideology. The characters find themselves at a crossroads, where their personal lives and political beliefs collide in ways that challenge their values and relationships.
Ethan, who once identified as a Democrat, is drawn to a Republican platform that is increasingly at odds with his personal identity, particularly his gay identity. This shift creates a fracture in his relationship with his husband, Gabe, whose liberal values are deeply intertwined with his sense of self.
Gabe’s struggle to reconcile his love for Ethan with his rejection of the political direction Ethan has chosen reflects a broader existential conflict over who they are as individuals and as partners. The complexity of their political differences emphasizes how politics can reshape the very foundation of relationships, turning ideological clashes into personal battles that threaten familial bonds.
The Strains of Long-Term Commitment in the Face of Change
Another significant theme explored in the book is the impact of change on long-term relationships, particularly in the context of evolving personal and professional aspirations. Gabe and Nicole’s relationships with their respective partners, Ethan and Austin, undergo substantial strain due to shifts in personal desires, ideological differences, and career trajectories.
Gabe’s internal conflict regarding Ethan’s political campaign mirrors Nicole’s growing disillusionment with her marriage to Austin. Both characters are forced to confront the reality that the people they once loved and felt aligned with are now different, and these changes are impossible to ignore.
The book delves into the emotional toll of staying in a relationship when fundamental differences emerge, particularly when one partner feels disconnected or alienated from the other due to ideological or personal transformations. Gabe’s feeling of betrayal and Nicole’s yearning for something more than her monotonous suburban life highlight the pressures of staying loyal to relationships that no longer serve them emotionally or intellectually.
The Complicated Nature of Loyalty and Professional Ethics
A complex layer of the novel involves the tension between loyalty to family and professional ethics. Characters like Kate, a journalist, and Gabe are caught between their personal relationships and their professional obligations.
Kate’s career as a political journalist becomes increasingly entangled with her family ties, especially her brother Ethan’s congressional run. Her personal feelings and professional duties clash as she finds herself covering stories that challenge her moral compass, including Ethan’s far-right political stance.
Gabe, too, faces a moral dilemma, as his loyalty to Ethan, his brother, conflicts with his abhorrence of the policies Ethan supports. This tension reflects a broader societal theme where professional roles often demand ethical decisions that directly contradict personal values or family loyalty, pushing characters to reconsider where their true allegiances lie.
The Reawakening of Desire and Emotional Vitality
As the story progresses, the theme of emotional and sexual reawakening emerges through the character of Nicole, who rekindles an old romance with her former lover Kate. This rekindling serves as a catalyst for Nicole’s reflection on her life choices, her desires, and her emotional needs.
Nicole’s journey highlights the tension between domestic life and the yearning for deeper emotional and sexual fulfillment. Her marriage to Austin has become stale, emotionally disconnected, and devoid of passion.
Her interactions with Kate bring forth a renewed sense of agency and sexual vitality, but also a wave of guilt, particularly as she begins to question the consequences of her actions on her family.
This emotional and sexual reawakening brings to the forefront the delicate balance between personal happiness and the responsibilities that come with marriage and motherhood.
The Solitude of Success and the Cost of Ambition
Lastly, the theme of professional isolation, despite outward success, underscores the emotional journeys of characters like Kate and Ethan. As they rise in their careers, they find themselves more isolated, struggling to balance the cost of their ambitions with the personal sacrifices they must make.
Kate’s success in her political journalism career, while outwardly fulfilling, leaves her feeling empty and disconnected, as she questions the meaning of her work and its emotional toll.
Ethan, too, faces a political landscape that demands more from him than he may be willing to give.
His ambition to run for Congress, while driven by a desire for power and influence, also erodes his personal relationships, particularly with Gabe. Both characters grapple with the realization that their professional success comes at the expense of their emotional well-being and relationships.
This theme highlights how the pursuit of career goals can lead to a sense of profound loneliness, even for those who appear to have everything. It paints a bleak picture of the personal cost of chasing success in a political and media-driven world.