We Could Be Rats Summary, Characters and Themes

We Could Be Rats by Emily Austin is an intimate, raw, and unflinching exploration of a young woman named Sigrid grappling with trauma, identity, and the desire to escape her pain through suicide. 

Structured uniquely, the book opens with 21 short, candid “Attempt” vignettes—each a different suicide note or mental snapshot revealing Sigrid’s humor, anger, love, and despair. What follows is a deeply reflective narrative about survival, family dynamics, and friendship, especially with her sister Margit and her friend Greta, whose own struggles echo through Sigrid’s story. The novel brings to us dark themes with tenderness, exploring what it means to live, suffer, and seek connection in a fractured world.

Summary

The book begins with 21 brief, vividly honest sections titled “Attempt One” through “Attempt Twenty-One.” These attempts are like fragmented suicide notes and mental snapshots from Sigrid’s mind as she navigates the raw emotions surrounding her desire to die.

In these sections, Sigrid combines stark truth with dark humor, reflecting on painful memories, family conflicts, friendships, and her complex feelings about life and death. For instance, she recalls the bittersweet comfort of childhood toys, tense but tender moments with her sister Margit, and the deep bond and eventual estrangement from her friend Greta.

Despite the heavy subject matter, Sigrid’s voice is irreverent and sharp, often pushing back against common narratives about depression and suicide. Sigrid’s reflections reveal a young woman who refuses to be easily defined by her pain.

She insists she is not simply “depressed” but struggling with very specific, unresolved personal circumstances. She wrestles with feelings of alienation from her family and community, and with how her queer identity is perceived and misunderstood.

Throughout these attempts, she reveals a desire for privacy and control over her story, even in death. Her notes oscillate between vulnerability and defiance, sorrow and wit, illustrating how difficult it is for her to say goodbye on her own terms.

After these fragmented, poetic attempts, the narrative shifts to a section called “The Truth,” which contains ten chapters detailing the aftermath of Sigrid’s actual suicide attempt. Sigrid wakes up in a hospital, surrounded by the realities of survival and the scrutiny that follows.

Her sister Margit emerges as a fierce protector, though her methods are morally ambiguous; she forges a fake suicide note implicating a fictional girlfriend to shield Sigrid from legal consequences and judgment. This section deepens the sibling relationship, exposing layers of loyalty, guilt, and complicated love.

As Sigrid navigates therapy sessions, family tension, and public fallout—including bomb threats she was involved with—she confronts her trauma with more clarity. Therapy with Dr. Jeong offers her moments of philosophical reflection and a chance to unravel her feelings of powerlessness, particularly related to her fractured friendship with Greta, who is struggling with addiction and societal rejection.

Sigrid explores her identity through vivid metaphors, such as choosing to be a rat or a garden gnome—symbols of belonging on her own terms rather than conforming to expectations. Moments of tenderness emerge, such as Sigrid and Margit unpacking childhood toys as a symbolic attempt to reclaim innocence lost to trauma.

Despite the chaos, Sigrid acknowledges pockets of happiness and her growing acceptance of survival. However, she also expresses anger toward societal expectations and political realities that feel suffocating and unfair.

The final eight chapters, in the section titled “Sigrid,” shift even more introspective, tracing her past, her alienation, and her attempts to find meaning after trauma. She reflects on childhood memories marked by family dysfunction and a sense of lurking danger, often retreating into her imagination to cope.

Greta’s tragic decline and public shaming through social media weigh heavily on her, fueling Sigrid’s sense of injustice and grief. Throughout these chapters, Sigrid wrestles with isolation, anger, and the ethics of finding happiness amid despair.

Shakespearean metaphors help her articulate the subjective nature of her suffering and suicidal thoughts, deepening the emotional complexity of her journey. Music, once a source of meaning, becomes a symbol of alienation, as Sigrid feels increasingly disconnected from narratives of hope and triumph.

The book closes on a philosophical note, as Sigrid contemplates trauma, inaction, and the interconnectedness of lives. She shares a final vision of Greta and wonders whether the fear of death is less daunting than the prospect of growing into a flawed, complicated adult.

This ending leaves readers with a haunting meditation on pain, survival, and the fragile, messy beauty of human connection.

Characters

Sigrid

Sigrid is the complex and deeply introspective protagonist whose inner world drives the narrative. Throughout the 21 “Attempt” sections, she reveals herself as a young woman grappling with intense emotional turmoil, suicidal ideation, and a complicated sense of identity.

She oscillates between humor and stark honesty, using wit as a defense mechanism to process her pain. Her reflections touch on themes of death, family, sexuality, and mental health, painting her as both vulnerable and fiercely independent.

Sigrid’s relationship with her own mental health is nuanced—she rejects simple labels like depression even while confronting suicidal impulses, challenging societal assumptions. Her identity as queer is significant to her sense of self, but she resists being confined by social or familial perceptions.

Across the story, she is shown as both detached and searching for connection, evidenced in her deep attachments to people like Greta and Margit. Sigrid is also philosophical and political, critiquing social norms, expectations of youth, and the performance surrounding death and mourning.

Her voice is both candid and poetic, marked by a persistent tension between wanting to be understood and the futility of fully expressing her pain.

Margit

Margit, Sigrid’s sister, emerges as a complex figure balancing loyalty and manipulation. The summaries suggest a sister who is protective but also secretive and willing to control narratives, as seen in her forging a suicide note and destroying evidence to shield Sigrid from repercussions.

This indicates a fierce sense of familial loyalty but also raises ethical questions about her interference in Sigrid’s autonomy and truth. Margit’s relationship with Sigrid is characterized by both conflict and care—moments of tenderness such as skating on the frozen pond contrast with their underlying tension.

Margit also seems to embody a pragmatic, sometimes harsh approach to family dynamics and trauma, which can both comfort and alienate Sigrid. Their shared moments around childhood toys symbolize a fragile attempt to reclaim innocence and repair fractured bonds.

Margit’s presence highlights the complicated ways family members navigate pain and protection, sometimes through control or denial.

Greta

Greta plays a crucial role as Sigrid’s childhood friend and teenage confidante. Their relationship evolves from innocent camaraderie to complicated emotional entanglements, reflecting Sigrid’s deep need for unconditional love and acceptance.

Greta represents both a source of comfort and eventual betrayal, embodying the painful loss of trust and the harsh realities of growing up. Her decline into addiction and social downfall is a key emotional anchor in the narrative, with Sigrid mourning not just the loss of their friendship but also the community’s cruel treatment of Greta.

Greta’s trajectory serves as a powerful commentary on social rejection, mental health stigma, and the destruction wrought by public shaming. Sigrid’s enduring guilt and protective feelings towards Greta reveal her empathy and sense of injustice, while also underscoring themes of loss and the limits of friendship under pressure.

Sigrid’s Parents and Aunt Jerry

Sigrid’s parents are present largely through Sigrid’s reflections and letters. Their relationship with Sigrid is fraught with difficulty, marked by misunderstandings, moral complexity, and emotional distance.

Sigrid apologizes for being a “difficult child” yet also calls out the imperfect nature of their support. Her mother is implicated in family tensions, including moments of conflict like the Christmas pie incident, which symbolize deeper unresolved pain.

Aunt Jerry stands out as a figure from Sigrid’s childhood who was once supportive but now embodies ideological opposition. Sigrid’s condemnation of Aunt Jerry’s political beliefs and decision to report her on social media shows Sigrid’s strong principles and refusal to tolerate harmful ideologies, even within family.

These family dynamics illustrate a backdrop of conflict, generational differences, and political tension that shape Sigrid’s worldview and emotional struggles.

Dr. Jeong and Therapy Figures

While less central in the summaries, Dr. Jeong, Sigrid’s therapist, represents a crucial supportive presence and a space for Sigrid’s self-exploration. Therapy sessions provide a narrative device for unpacking trauma, philosophical musings, and identity questions.

Through Dr. Jeong, the story addresses the challenges and complexities of mental health treatment, emphasizing that Sigrid’s experience defies simple categorization. The therapeutic relationship appears to offer moments of clarity and confrontation, helping Sigrid articulate and understand her internal conflicts.

Kevin Fliner and Societal Figures

Kevin Fliner, mentioned in the “Attempts” and later chapters, is a political figure symbolizing broader societal forces Sigrid resists. Her opposition to him and references to bomb threats and rebellion reflect her anger and frustration with the political environment and systemic oppression.

Kevin’s presence acts as a foil to Sigrid’s personal battles, anchoring her struggles in a larger cultural and political context. Through characters like Kevin and the community’s harsh judgment of Greta, the novel critiques social norms, the policing of youth behavior, and the stigma around mental health and addiction.

Themes

Ambivalence of Selfhood Through Fragmented Narratives of Suicide and Survival

Emily Austin’s novel presents the self not as a fixed entity but as an ongoing, unstable process, exemplified through the repeated “Attempt” sections that serve as layered, contradictory suicide notes. These fragments expose the tensions between self-destruction and self-expression, where Sigrid’s voice oscillates between raw honesty, dark humor, and philosophical rumination.

Her attempts to articulate the inarticulable—the reasons for her decision and the paradoxical desire to be understood yet remain private—reflect a profound ambivalence about identity. The multiplicity of voices and tones conveys how the self resists neat categorization, especially when situated at the edge of life and death.

Survival thereafter complicates this further; the shift from the fractured “Attempts” to the more cohesive narrative of survival underscores how identity is reconstructed in the aftermath of trauma, revealing both vulnerability and the persistence of agency.

Familial Loyalty, Betrayal, and Ethical Ambiguity in Intimate Relationships

At the heart of the novel lies the fraught dynamics between Sigrid and her sister Margit, a relationship rife with protective deception and emotional conflict. Margit’s forged suicide note and efforts to shield Sigrid introduce an ethical ambiguity that complicates traditional notions of loyalty and betrayal.

This act, while born from love, simultaneously manipulates reality and raises questions about autonomy and truth. The depiction of family extends beyond typical support structures to a battleground where love coexists with resentment and misunderstanding.

Sigrid’s nuanced reflections on family—ranging from moments of tenderness on a frozen pond to explosive confrontations involving their mother—paint an intimate portrait of how trauma, survival, and secrecy shape kinship. The sisters’ efforts to reclaim innocence through shared memories and symbolic acts like unpacking childhood toys highlight the ongoing negotiation between past wounds and present reconciliation.

Political and Social Critique Embedded in Personal Trauma and Mental Health Narratives

Emily Austin’s narrative intricately ties Sigrid’s personal struggles with broader sociopolitical realities, illustrating how systemic pressures intensify individual suffering. The novel confronts the cultural weight of expectations placed on youth, especially those grappling with queer identities and mental health challenges in a small town marked by political tension.

Sigrid’s criticism of misinformation, her reporting of Aunt Jerry’s harmful online behavior, and the looming presence of political figures like Kevin Fliner serve to contextualize her trauma within a wider landscape of cultural conflict and ideological polarization. The bomb threats and their ambiguous origins function as metaphors for the invisible violence inflicted by social alienation and despair.

Through this lens, the book interrogates how societal norms around happiness, productivity, and conformity exacerbate isolation and complicate the ethics of self-destruction and survival.

Queer Identity, Visibility, and Resistance in a Hostile Environment

Sigrid’s exploration of her sexual identity reveals a layered negotiation between self-acceptance and external misunderstanding, exposing the fraught nature of queerness in a conservative milieu. Her reflections reject simplistic labels and resist normative frameworks, emphasizing a fluid, self-defined sense of belonging.

The narrative’s candid engagement with the erasure and misperception of queer identities within her family and community highlights the psychic costs of invisibility and the yearning for authentic connection. The friendship and eventual fracturing with Greta symbolize both the possibilities and vulnerabilities inherent in queer relationships, marked by deep affection shadowed by betrayal and societal rejection.

This theme extends to a broader critique of the pressures to perform normative roles, positioning Sigrid’s self-definition as an act of resistance amid cultural hostility.

Mortality and Meaning-Making in the Face of Existential Despair

Throughout the novel, death is not presented merely as an end but as a complex site for grappling with meaning, agency, and the limits of language. Sigrid’s multiple suicide notes, each varying in tone and content, represent a fragmented search for meaning in a seemingly indifferent universe.

The humor and irreverence woven through these attempts challenge traditional narratives of suicide as solely tragic or pathological, instead offering a nuanced portrayal of agency in the face of despair. Post-attempt survival does not resolve these tensions but transforms them, prompting reflections on happiness, guilt, and the ethics of living.

The philosophical musings in the final chapters reveal an ongoing dialogue with mortality, trauma, and the question of whether death is a release or a continuation of struggle, underscoring the porous boundaries between life and death, innocence and experience.

Narrative Form and Metaphor in Reconfiguring Trauma and Memory

The novel’s distinctive structure—with its 21 “Attempt” vignettes followed by more conventional chapters—mirrors the fragmented and nonlinear nature of traumatic memory. This formal experimentation embodies how trauma resists chronological coherence and invites multiple interpretations.

The recurring metaphors—rats, garden gnomes, carnival trash, swamp-monsters—serve as symbolic anchors that externalize internal states and offer new ways to conceptualize suffering, survival, and identity. These images destabilize conventional meanings, forcing readers to engage with the ambiguity and fluidity of the narrator’s experience.

Music, toys, and childhood memories become narrative tools that illuminate the subjective reality of trauma, providing moments of both connection and alienation. Through this layered narrative and metaphorical richness, the book challenges readers to reconsider how stories of pain and recovery can be told.