The Usual Desire to Kill Summary, Characters and Themes

The Usual Desire to Kill by Camilla Barnes is a reflective and insightful exploration of the complexities of family dynamics, aging, and personal growth.  The novel examines the relationship between a daughter, Miranda, and her aging parents as they navigate the challenges of growing older in a rural French estate.

Through Miranda’s eyes, the reader is drawn into the intricacies of familial love, the generational shifts in attitudes, and the subtle balance between duty and personal freedom.  With humor and depth, the story paints a picture of a family adjusting to inevitable changes, offering an honest look at life’s fleeting nature and the emotional undercurrents that persist beneath everyday interactions.

Summary

The story follows Miranda as she visits her aging parents, who have retired to a rural French manor called La Forgerie.  As Miranda spends time with them, she reflects on the dynamics of their lives, shaped by humor, routine, and the inevitability of aging.

Her father, a retired philosophy professor in his late seventies, is eccentric and full of mischief.  Despite his academic background, he enjoys physical tasks like feeding the “Bad Cats” and working in the garden.

His actions provide a contrast to his more grounded and practical wife, Miranda’s mother, who is somewhat obsessive about maintaining order in their household.  She is nostalgic about the past, especially in relation to food and old appliances, symbolizing her resistance to change.

The two parents’ contrasting personalities are a source of constant amusement and tension for Miranda.  Her mother frequently complains about modern advancements, particularly about the loss of old customs and methods, while her father’s philosophical reflections often take center stage.

Their exchanges are humorous yet poignant, offering Miranda a window into the changes occurring in their lives, both physically and emotionally.  Miranda acts as a mediator, smoothing over their debates and providing an outsider’s perspective on the family’s dynamics.

Miranda’s relationship with her parents is complex.  While she feels a sense of duty to care for them, particularly as they age, she is often frustrated by the repetitive nature of their lives and the emotional strain they place on her.

She contrasts her experience with that of her sister, Charlotte, who is more proactive in dealing with their parents’ health issues.  Charlotte is concerned with practical matters, such as their mother’s hip surgery, while Miranda is more focused on the emotional and psychological aspects of dealing with their aging.

Their differences in approach create tension between them, particularly when Charlotte pushes Miranda to become more involved in their parents’ care.

The family’s interactions reflect broader themes of aging, change, and the passage of time.  Miranda’s observations reveal how the once-vibrant lives of her parents have become more routine and predictable, a reality that she struggles to accept.

While Miranda is not as alarmed by her parents’ physical decline, Charlotte is increasingly obsessed with their health and vitality.  The family estate, La Forgerie, is also a metaphor for their decaying way of life.

The once-beautiful manor is now a shadow of its former self, much like the parents themselves.  This decay is evident in both the physical environment and the emotional landscape of the family.

Despite her frustrations, Miranda finds solace in small moments.  There is a shared humor in their daily routines, such as her father’s attempts at humor or their mutual enjoyment of simple tasks.

These moments provide a sense of comfort amidst the growing tensions within the family.  Miranda’s reflections also reveal the deeper emotional connections she has with her parents, despite the challenges they face.

Throughout the story, Miranda communicates with her sister Charlotte through letters, in which they discuss their differing perspectives on family life.  Charlotte’s letters are filled with concerns about their mother’s physical health, while Miranda focuses on the emotional toll of caring for their parents.

Their differing approaches highlight the tension between personal duty and the difficulty of dealing with aging relatives.

Miranda’s internal monologue also explores her own personal struggles, particularly the pressure she feels from her career as an actress in Paris.  Her demanding role in King Lear often keeps her away from her family, causing a sense of disconnect.

She also reflects on her own identity and role within the family, torn between her professional ambitions and her responsibilities as a daughter.

The theme of aging is explored further as Miranda’s mother prepares for a hip operation, which has been long-planned but is fraught with uncertainty.  Charlotte takes charge of the situation, planning for the surgery and making arrangements for their parents’ care.

Miranda, however, is more passive in her approach, often frustrated by Charlotte’s need for control and her insistence on ensuring that everything is in order.  This difference in attitude creates friction between the sisters, particularly as the surgery looms closer.

As the narrative unfolds, Miranda’s thoughts turn to the larger themes of aging and the passage of time.  She observes how her parents, like the animals they care for, are set in their ways, unable or unwilling to adapt to the changing world around them.

These reflections prompt Miranda to consider the nature of family love, where comfort and resentment often coexist.  Through her interactions with her parents, she grapples with the tension between acceptance and the desire to push back against the inevitable changes that come with aging.

The story concludes with a bittersweet realization that the family’s routines, while comforting, also reveal the limitations of their lives.  As her parents grow older and their bodies and minds begin to deteriorate, Miranda comes to understand that there is a beauty in their simplicity, even if it is tinged with sadness.

The mundane moments they share—discussions about food, appliances, and household tasks—serve as a reflection of the deeper emotional truths that bind the family together.

In the end, The Usual Desire to Kill offers a profound exploration of family, aging, and the complexities of personal relationships.  It highlights how time shapes our lives, altering not only our bodies but also our connections with the people closest to us.

Through Miranda’s perspective, the reader is reminded of the impermanence of life and the enduring nature of familial love, which persists even in the face of aging and inevitable change.

Characters

Miranda

Miranda, the central character of The Usual Desire to Kill, serves as the emotional anchor of the story, experiencing the nuanced and often challenging dynamics of family relationships.  Throughout the narrative, she grapples with the complex role of being the daughter to aging parents while simultaneously managing her career as an actress.

Miranda is often caught between her duty toward her parents and her personal ambitions, which creates internal tension.  She approaches her parents’ aging with a sense of resignation, accepting their decline without much alarm, in stark contrast to her sister Charlotte, who is more proactive and concerned.

Miranda’s bond with her father is particularly poignant—she finds comfort in his philosophical musings, even if his eccentric nature at times makes their interactions more reflective than emotionally fulfilling.  Her mother, on the other hand, represents the more practical and grounded figure, which contributes to Miranda’s sense of obligation to manage their complex family affairs.

While Miranda’s relationship with her mother is more strained and complicated, her emotional connection to her father remains a significant source of comfort throughout the story.  The tension between Miranda’s personal desires and familial duty highlights the emotional weight she carries as a daughter, often feeling overwhelmed by her role.

Miranda’s Father

Miranda’s father is portrayed as a whimsical and eccentric figure, a retired philosophy professor who remains spry despite his advanced age.  His idiosyncratic behavior, such as tending to the animals on the family estate, La Forgerie, and engaging in deep philosophical thoughts, showcases his complex and thoughtful nature.

He maintains a strong bond with Miranda, often sharing philosophical musings that allow them to connect on a deeper, intellectual level.  Despite his academic background, he finds solace in physical tasks, like gardening and building bonfires, which contrasts with his mental pursuits.

This duality makes him an intriguing figure—both a thinker and a man of action.  His personality can be seen as both charming and infuriating to his family, as his eccentricities often fuel playful debates, particularly with his wife.

Nevertheless, his presence in the family is one of warmth and depth, offering Miranda a source of reflection and understanding amid the family’s growing complexities.

Miranda’s Mother

Miranda’s mother is a strong, practical, and somewhat stubborn character.  Solidly built, she is a figure deeply entrenched in the routine of daily life, with her focus on managing the household and ensuring everything is in order.

Her attachment to old ways—such as her love for the old freezer and the preservation of old food production practices—highlights her resistance to change and her deep connection to the past.  This often puts her at odds with the more philosophical and whimsical nature of her husband.

While Miranda’s mother is capable of showing affection, her love is often wrapped in a sense of duty, making their relationship more complex and sometimes distant.  She is a woman of few words, and much of her emotional expression comes through her actions rather than direct communication.

Her health struggles, especially the impending hip surgery, serve as a pivotal point in the story, revealing the emotional burden she carries as she grapples with the realities of aging.  Her steadfast approach to life, however, stands in stark contrast to Miranda’s more passive acceptance of their situation, highlighting the emotional and psychological differences between the two.

Charlotte

Charlotte, Miranda’s sister, plays a significant role in the family dynamics, particularly as the more responsible and organized sibling.  In contrast to Miranda’s more passive approach to their parents’ aging, Charlotte is proactive and often takes charge of family matters, such as organizing the surgery for their mother and planning the logistics around her care.

Charlotte’s strong sense of duty is a defining characteristic, and she often serves as a counterbalance to Miranda’s ambivalence.  While she deeply cares for her parents, particularly their well-being, her concern can sometimes come across as obsessive, especially in her efforts to maintain their youth and vitality.

Her relationship with Miranda is marked by subtle tensions, as their differing views on responsibility and care often lead to moments of frustration.  Despite their differences, there is an underlying sense of shared history and familial love between the two, though it is often complicated by their contrasting personalities and approaches to life.

DK

DK is a somewhat mysterious figure in the protagonist’s life, someone she initially misjudges but with whom she forms an unexpectedly complex relationship.  Known as “Dog Killer,” DK’s character is introduced through humorous and emotionally charged interactions with the protagonist.

As the story unfolds, their connection grows, revealing layers of confusion, miscommunication, and emotional depth.  Despite the distance between them at the beginning, DK becomes a significant part of the protagonist’s life, particularly as she faces the pressures of an unplanned pregnancy and societal expectations surrounding marriage.

DK’s relationship with the protagonist serves as both a source of comfort and emotional confusion.  His detachment and the complexities of their bond highlight the protagonist’s inner turmoil as she grapples with the realities of life, love, and the choices she must face.

Alice

Alice, a secondary yet important character, reflects on her own complex relationship with her family and her place within the generational cycle.  Her thoughts are often focused on the theme of memory and the passage of time, reflecting on the past with a mixture of nostalgia and pragmatism.

Alice’s relationship with her parents, particularly her father, is distant yet reflective, with much of her introspection stemming from the silent understanding of family dynamics.  Her grandparents’ experiences with rationing and war have shaped her own understanding of sacrifice, while her relationship with her father is marked by emotional distance.

Alice’s contemplation of marriage and motherhood reveals her ambivalence toward traditional roles, as she struggles with the expectations placed upon her as a wife and mother.  The loss of her son, James, serves as a poignant moment in her life, forever altering her emotional landscape and leaving her with unresolved grief.

Alice’s journey is one of self-discovery, as she grapples with the complexities of identity, memory, and the unavoidable passage of time, reflecting on how her family’s past shapes her present and future.

Themes

Family Dynamics and Relationships

The central theme in The Usual Desire to Kill revolves around the complexities and intricacies of family relationships.  The story presents the dynamic between Miranda and her aging parents, offering a nuanced portrayal of family life, particularly the tension between love and frustration that often arises as members navigate through the inevitable changes brought by aging.

As Miranda reflects on her visits home, she is caught between the duty she feels to care for her parents and the emotional weight that their behavior and physical decline place on her.  This push and pull are intensified by the contrast between her sister Charlotte’s more proactive approach and Miranda’s resigned acceptance of the situation.

Miranda’s perspective reveals how the dynamics within a family can be shaped by differing expectations, emotional needs, and generational views.  Her relationship with her parents is marked by small, mundane moments that hold significant emotional weight, such as shared jokes or the quiet comfort of her father’s philosophical musings.

Yet, it is in the contradictions of these relationships—her mother’s obsession with order and her father’s philosophical detachment—that Miranda’s frustration with her familial duties is most evident.  The tension between the siblings, the generational divide, and the role of memory in shaping familial bonds are explored in depth, showing how the past and present inform one’s feelings of duty, obligation, and love within a family.

Aging and the Passage of Time

A prominent theme in the narrative is the exploration of aging and the passage of time.  The Usual Desire to Kill delicately addresses the emotional and physical toll that aging takes on individuals and how it affects both the person experiencing it and their family.

Through Miranda’s reflections on her parents, the story reveals the emotional complexities that come with witnessing loved ones age.  Miranda observes how her parents, once vibrant and independent, are now bound by their routines and frailties.

Her father, though spry and full of wit, faces the inevitability of physical decline, while her mother’s attachment to the past, including outdated items and practices, symbolizes a resistance to change.  These everyday interactions, such as the mother’s focus on the freezer and the father’s obsession with feeding animals, reflect the ways in which aging individuals cling to familiarity, offering a sense of comfort amidst growing helplessness.

For Miranda, the theme of aging is intertwined with her own emotional responses, marked by a mix of affection and resignation.  The contrast between Miranda’s passive acceptance of her parents’ aging and Charlotte’s active attempts to stave off decline underscores the different ways people cope with the loss of vitality in their loved ones.

The inevitable aging process not only affects the physical state of the characters but also shifts their roles within the family, prompting reflections on identity, memory, and mortality.

The Struggles of Personal Identity

The story also engages with the theme of personal identity, especially as it relates to Miranda’s internal struggles.  The Usual Desire to Kill portrays Miranda’s journey of self-discovery, as she navigates her professional ambitions as an actress, her complicated relationship with her family, and the personal choices that define her future.

Miranda’s role in the play King Lear serves as a metaphor for her own position in the world—a complex balance between performance and authenticity, expectation and desire.  Her profession and her personal life are in constant tension, as she strives to balance her responsibilities as a daughter with her desire for independence and personal fulfillment.

Throughout the story, Miranda’s internal dialogues reveal her emotional confusion and conflict, as she tries to reconcile the different aspects of her identity.  The relationship with her parents, particularly her father’s philosophical musings and her mother’s emotional rigidity, plays a significant role in this struggle.

These familial dynamics force Miranda to confront the way she defines herself and the expectations placed upon her.  As Miranda grapples with the weight of her role within the family, she also confronts the broader societal expectations of women during the time.

This theme of personal identity is closely linked to the broader exploration of generational expectations and the sense of being shaped by the past while trying to forge an individual path.

Memory and Legacy

Memory and the legacy of past generations are deeply explored in The Usual Desire to Kill, particularly in the way they shape personal identity and familial relationships.  Miranda’s reflections on her parents’ aging are often framed by their attachment to the past, whether through physical objects or routines that offer comfort in their familiar repetition.

Her mother’s fixation on outdated appliances and her father’s philosophical musings about the past reveal how memory functions not only as a source of comfort but also as a means of coping with change.  The emotional weight of these memories is not just personal but extends into the family’s collective history.

Miranda’s internal monologues reveal her awareness of the tension between preserving the past and moving forward, as well as her recognition of how much of her life has been influenced by these memories.  The theme of memory is also examined through the lens of her relationship with her sister Charlotte, who is more focused on the practical concerns of their parents’ health, while Miranda is more absorbed in the emotional landscape shaped by their shared past.

In this sense, memory becomes both a source of nostalgia and melancholy, with the characters’ recollections of the past influencing their present actions and attitudes.  The narrative suggests that while the past may hold both comfort and pain, it is also inextricably linked to the way individuals and families navigate the future.

Responsibility and Personal Freedom

Another significant theme in The Usual Desire to Kill is the tension between responsibility and personal freedom.  This theme emerges prominently in Miranda’s internal struggle as she attempts to balance her own desires with her obligations to her family.

Throughout the story, Miranda feels the weight of familial expectations, particularly from her sister Charlotte, who seems to take on the role of caretaker and decision-maker regarding their parents’ health.  Miranda, however, is more passive in her approach, seeing herself as a mere observer rather than an active participant in the family’s dynamic.

Her internal struggle revolves around the idea of duty—whether she is obligated to care for her aging parents in the way Charlotte does or whether her desire for independence and self-fulfillment should take precedence.  This tension is further complicated by her career as an actress, which demands time and energy that often come at the expense of family obligations.

The narrative explores how societal expectations of women, particularly in the 1960s, complicate their pursuit of personal freedom.  Miranda’s journey is one of reconciling these conflicting forces, ultimately leading to moments of personal reflection where she acknowledges the complexity of responsibility and the sacrifice it often entails.

The narrative suggests that while personal freedom is essential, it cannot exist without some form of responsibility, particularly within the context of family.

Humor and Absurdity

Humor plays a crucial role in The Usual Desire to Kill, offering a lens through which the characters’ complex emotional experiences can be processed.  The quirky behaviors and idiosyncratic routines of Miranda’s parents provide moments of levity in the narrative, which contrasts with the underlying themes of aging and familial duty.

Miranda’s father, with his eccentric habits and philosophical rants, provides both wisdom and absurdity in equal measure.  His humorous attempts to deal with the animals and his philosophical reflections often come across as comical, yet they also offer insights into the human condition.

The humorous exchanges between Miranda and her parents, as well as her observations of her family’s eccentricities, lighten the otherwise somber tone of the story.  This use of humor serves as a coping mechanism for Miranda, who navigates the emotional turmoil of caring for her aging parents.

At the same time, the absurdity of some of the debates, such as those revolving around household items or food, highlights the ways in which small, seemingly trivial moments hold significant emotional weight.  Through humor, the narrative suggests that laughter and lightheartedness can offer a form of emotional resilience in the face of life’s challenges.