What if It’s You Summary, Characters and Themes
What if It’s You by Jilly Gagnon is a thought-provoking exploration of love, commitment, and the complexity of relationships, set against the backdrop of quantum computing and alternate realities. The protagonist, Laurel, is caught between two possible versions of her life—one with her long-time partner, Ollie, and another with Drew, a colleague at work.
As Laurel navigates the challenges of her personal life and her professional ambitions, she becomes increasingly entangled in a quantum experiment that lets her experience alternate paths her life could have taken. The book delves into themes of identity, choice, and the uncertainty of the future, as Laurel struggles to understand where her heart truly belongs and what kind of life she wants to build for herself.
Summary
Laurel’s life is upended by a series of personal and professional challenges. She starts her day with an unsettling discovery: a yellow gold ring, which she fears might be an engagement ring hidden by her partner, Ollie.
This ring, a family heirloom passed down to him, stirs anxiety in Laurel, making her question the permanence of love and the idea of forever.
Ollie and Laurel have been together for five years, and while they share a deep connection, their relationship is far from perfect. Ollie’s artistic and free-spirited nature often clashes with Laurel’s more organized, goal-driven personality.
As Laurel approaches a career milestone with a recent promotion at Pixel, a successful marketing presentation, she cannot shake the feeling that something is off in her personal life. The thought of marriage with Ollie does not excite her as it does for others; instead, it brings up feelings of uncertainty.
At work, Laurel is also involved in a major project that could bring about significant changes in Pixel’s marketing strategies. Despite the success of the presentation, Laurel finds herself preoccupied with thoughts of Ollie and the hidden ring.
Her emotions become more complicated as she grows closer to Drew, a colleague who works on a cutting-edge quantum computing project at Pixel. Drew is involved in developing an experiment that simulates alternate realities, and Laurel finds herself intrigued by his work, but also confused about her own feelings toward him.
Later, at an anniversary dinner with Ollie, Laurel’s anxiety about their relationship and the potential engagement ring comes to the forefront. Ollie expresses his frustration with Laurel’s reluctance to open up about their future, and the conversation spirals into a heated argument.
Laurel’s internal struggle becomes clear as she faces her growing doubts and her fear of commitment. She feels guilty for not being able to fully commit to Ollie, even though she deeply loves him.
In the midst of this emotional turmoil, Laurel’s thoughts often turn to Drew. She becomes consumed with the question of what life might look like if she made different choices, especially considering her growing connection with Drew.
At work, Drew invites her to explore his team’s quantum computing project, AltR, which simulates alternate versions of people’s lives. Laurel begins to experiment with the program, exploring different paths and outcomes based on the choices she made throughout her life.
This experiment brings her even closer to Drew and introduces a wave of doubt about her relationship with Ollie.
As Laurel immerses herself in these alternate realities, the lines between what is real and what is simulated begin to blur. She experiences a life where she is with Drew, living in a different world than the one she shared with Ollie.
The simulated worlds make Laurel question her true desires. She begins to wonder if she made the right choices, and if there could be a better life for her somewhere else.
This emotional journey is complicated by her deep connection to Ollie, whom she loves but feels increasingly uncertain about marrying.
The tensions in Laurel’s life reach a peak as she finds herself in two realities at once—one where she is with Ollie and another where she is with Drew. The experience is disorienting and painful.
Laurel grapples with an overwhelming sense of guilt for considering a future with Drew, and the fear that her indecision might lead to irreparable consequences in both relationships.
In an attempt to resolve her internal conflict, Laurel tries to make sense of her feelings and her future. She reaches out to Drew for support, but her emotions are still clouded by the intensity of her connection to Ollie.
Meanwhile, Ollie, sensing the emotional distance between them, grows frustrated with Laurel’s inability to commit. Their relationship begins to feel strained, and the underlying tension between them becomes unbearable.
Laurel faces a pivotal moment when she must confront the reality of her shifting emotional state. She decides to make a choice: to either stay with Drew, where the future feels uncertain but full of potential, or return to Ollie, where the relationship feels safe but possibly stagnant.
As she navigates these conflicting desires, Laurel’s emotional journey becomes a quest for self-discovery. She begins to realize that her choices in relationships are deeply tied to her own sense of identity and fulfillment.
In the end, Laurel must make a difficult decision about her future. She knows that both relationships with Drew and Ollie are important to her, but the uncertainty about which one is right for her is overwhelming.
The program that simulates alternate realities offers a glimpse into the different paths her life could take, but it is clear that no matter which choice she makes, there will be consequences. Laurel learns that while alternate realities may offer intriguing possibilities, they cannot substitute for the hard work and introspection required to choose a path that aligns with her true desires.
The story ends with Laurel still uncertain about the future but beginning to understand that self-discovery and personal growth are essential to navigating the complexities of relationships and commitment. As she moves forward, she realizes that love and loyalty are not always about the certainty of choosing one path over another, but about the courage to make a decision and live with the consequences.
Characters
Laurel
Laurel is the central character of What If It’s You by Jilly Gagnon, and her journey is one of self-discovery, emotional turmoil, and a struggle to reconcile different aspects of her life. She is faced with the challenge of navigating a complex relationship with Ollie while also grappling with a growing connection to Drew.
Laurel is intelligent, driven, and on the brink of a significant career milestone, but her personal life is filled with doubt and uncertainty. The thought of commitment, particularly in her relationship with Ollie, causes her considerable anxiety.
This sense of unease stems from her fear of the permanence of love and her inability to fully embrace the idea of marriage, despite her deep connection with Ollie. As she shifts between different realities, Laurel is forced to confront her feelings for Drew and Ollie, ultimately realizing that she must choose the life that resonates with her true self.
Her emotional journey is compounded by her professional challenges, particularly with the quantum computing project at work, which blurs the line between reality and alternate possibilities. Laurel’s internal conflict is the heart of the story, and she embarks on a path of self-realization, exploring what it means to make difficult decisions and to define her own future.
Ollie
Ollie is a significant figure in Laurel’s life, embodying the free-spirited, artistic partner who contrasts with Laurel’s more structured and career-focused personality. Their relationship spans five years, and while it is clear that they share a deep bond, Ollie’s spontaneous and unconventional nature often leaves Laurel feeling unsettled.
He represents the idea of love as something secure and permanent, but for Laurel, the thought of settling into a life with him brings up feelings of uncertainty. Ollie’s artistic vision and laid-back approach to life are both endearing and frustrating for Laurel, who is more driven and concerned with her career.
His desire to propose, symbolized by the yellow gold ring, exacerbates Laurel’s fears about commitment, leaving her to question whether she can fulfill the expectations of a life with him. Ollie’s emotional vulnerability becomes evident when he expresses frustration with Laurel’s emotional distance and her inability to open up.
Despite their differences, Ollie’s love for Laurel is undeniable, but he remains unaware of the depths of her doubts. The tension between them highlights the complexity of their relationship, where love and commitment are tested by the realities of their differing life perspectives.
Drew
Drew is a pivotal character who represents the intellectual and professional allure that pulls Laurel in another direction. He is a colleague at Pixel, working on an ambitious quantum computing project that intrigues Laurel.
Drew’s dedication to his work is impressive, yet his emotional detachment leaves Laurel feeling conflicted about their relationship. While he is affectionate and caring, sending her flowers when she’s unwell, Drew’s lack of emotional depth makes Laurel feel disconnected from him.
His work on the AltR program, which simulates alternate realities, plays a key role in Laurel’s internal conflict. Drew embodies the idea of the rational, career-focused life, and as Laurel delves deeper into the alternate realities that the program offers, she becomes increasingly captivated by the potential of a life with him.
However, despite his attentiveness, Drew never quite offers the same level of emotional intimacy that Ollie does, leaving Laurel torn between the two. Drew’s presence in her life adds complexity to her emotional journey, pushing her to question what she truly desires and whether her future lies with the stability of Ollie or the potential excitement of a life with him.
Dana Howell
Dana Howell, a physicist involved in the quantum computing project at Pixel, plays a minor but significant role in What If It’s You. She is the voice of reason and the scientific explanation for the strange phenomena Laurel experiences.
Dana offers a rational perspective on the malfunctioning quantum computing program, suggesting that the overlapping realities could be the result of the “Many-Worlds Interpretation” of quantum mechanics. While she is initially skeptical of the gravity of Laurel’s situation, Dana becomes a crucial figure in helping Laurel understand the scientific basis for the shifts between realities.
Her explanation of the malfunction offers a theoretical framework that allows Laurel to grasp the nature of her predicament, though it does little to ease the emotional complexity she faces. Dana’s role serves as a grounding influence in the narrative, providing a contrast to the emotional chaos that surrounds Laurel’s personal life.
She helps shift the focus from mere confusion about alternate realities to the deeper emotional decisions Laurel must make in her journey.
Ryan
Ryan is a secondary character who represents the social and personal network around Ollie, yet his role is more peripheral compared to others. His friendship with Ollie provides a backdrop to the story, and his casual mentions in conversations highlight the contrast between Ollie’s free-spirited, laid-back lifestyle and Laurel’s more structured and career-driven approach.
While Ryan does not play a direct role in Laurel’s internal struggle, his interactions with Ollie serve to reinforce the tension in Laurel’s relationship with Ollie, who often seems more invested in his friendships and creative pursuits than in solidifying a future with Laurel. Ryan’s presence in the narrative, while not central, offers a glimpse into the broader social world that surrounds Ollie and influences his relationship with Laurel.
Themes
Identity and Self-Discovery
In What If It’s You, the theme of identity and self-discovery is central to Laurel’s journey. She is caught between two versions of herself, living parallel lives that present conflicting visions of her future.
The shifting realities caused by the malfunctioning quantum program force her to confront the idea of who she truly is, as well as what she truly wants. Each version of Laurel—one with Drew and another with Ollie—offers a different lens through which she can view herself and her desires.
The conflict arises not only from the external pressures surrounding Laurel but from her internal struggle to reconcile these two versions of her identity. One life represents security and familiarity, with Drew offering stability, while the other, with Ollie, is more emotionally charged, filled with passion and potential.
The malfunctioning program pushes Laurel to question the nature of her identity, making her wonder if she is defined by her choices, her relationships, or something deeper. This journey is not just about choosing between two men, but about understanding who she wants to be, what she values, and how those values align with her evolving sense of self.
Her constant movement between alternate versions of her life highlights how much of our identity is tied to the decisions we make, and how challenging it can be to separate who we are from the roles we play in others’ lives.
Laurel’s journey of self-discovery is messy and filled with uncertainty, which makes it all the more relatable. She must come to terms with the idea that she cannot control everything, and that finding herself may require embracing the discomfort that comes with change and the unknown.
Through this theme, the story explores the fluidity of identity, showing that it is not static but something that evolves based on our experiences, relationships, and the paths we choose to follow.
The Complexity of Modern Relationships
What If It’s You also delves deeply into the complexities of modern relationships, particularly how they evolve over time and how we navigate the uncertainties that come with commitment. Laurel’s relationship with Ollie is a key example of how love can be both fulfilling and overwhelming.
Although they share a deep emotional connection, Laurel struggles with the idea of permanence and the idea of marriage, which looms as a potential future they have yet to define together. This creates an underlying tension in their relationship, as Laurel begins to question whether she can truly commit to Ollie for the long term.
The introduction of Drew, a colleague who embodies a more intellectual and emotionally distant presence, further complicates Laurel’s feelings. While Drew provides a different kind of emotional connection, it is clear that Laurel’s bond with him lacks the depth and authenticity she feels with Ollie.
As she navigates the emotional turmoil of these two relationships, she is forced to confront the fears and uncertainties that often accompany deep emotional investments. The novel captures the tension between the longing for stability and the desire for something more exciting or uncertain.
Laurel’s struggles reflect the wider complexities of modern love, where personal growth, emotional fulfillment, and the challenge of making long-term commitments intersect.
This theme speaks to the broader issues in contemporary relationships—how external pressures, like career aspirations or the fear of the unknown, can cause individuals to question the very foundations of their relationships. Laurel’s internal conflict highlights the difficulty in deciding whether to remain in a secure, albeit imperfect, relationship or to risk everything in search of something that might feel more authentic.
The story ultimately asks whether true love requires absolute certainty or if, in fact, embracing doubt is part of love’s complexity.
The Influence of Technology on Personal Choices
The novel introduces technology in a way that profoundly impacts Laurel’s life and personal decisions. The quantum computing project, AltR, which simulates alternate versions of reality, creates a surreal context where Laurel can see how her choices play out in different worlds.
This technological lens invites her to explore “what if” scenarios that lead her to question not just her relationship with Ollie but the very nature of her existence. Through the malfunctioning program, Laurel is forced to confront the consequences of her choices in ways that she cannot avoid, offering her a glimpse into the myriad possibilities that could have been.
This theme highlights how technology, while offering potential for exploration and growth, can also complicate human decision-making. By being able to visualize alternate realities, Laurel is paralyzed by the infinite possibilities laid before her, unsure of which path to take.
The program represents the allure of knowing what could have been, which is both a gift and a curse. The technology doesn’t provide answers but rather intensifies Laurel’s existential crisis, leading her to question the very concept of free will and whether her choices are truly her own.
The novel critiques the way in which technological advancements, particularly in artificial intelligence and quantum computing, can alter our understanding of reality and push us toward decisions that feel increasingly detached from the present moment.
In many ways, the presence of the AltR project mirrors modern-day dilemmas created by technology. From social media to virtual realities, technology often provides us with versions of our lives that can be manipulated or altered, allowing us to escape or reimagine reality.
However, as What If It’s You demonstrates, this escape can leave us more confused and disoriented than before, especially when it comes to deeply personal decisions like relationships. Laurel’s journey suggests that while technology can open new avenues of understanding, it also has the potential to cloud our judgment and disconnect us from the richness of living fully in the present.
Fear of Commitment and the Weight of Decisions
The fear of commitment is a persistent theme throughout What If It’s You, particularly in Laurel’s relationship with Ollie. Her fear isn’t rooted in a lack of love, but in her anxiety about the permanence of commitment and the potential consequences of making life-altering decisions.
This is demonstrated through Laurel’s ambivalence about marriage, despite her strong connection to Ollie. The presence of the hidden ring only intensifies her internal struggle, as she contemplates the weight of a lifelong commitment.
For Laurel, the concept of forever feels more like a trap than a promise, bringing to light the modern fear of making the “wrong” choice, especially in relationships that are expected to last forever.
As Laurel becomes more involved in the quantum simulation project, her fear of commitment is amplified by the program’s ability to show alternate versions of her life. These simulations give her a window into paths she could have taken, leading her to question whether she is making the right choice by staying with Ollie or if she should explore a future with Drew.
The theme of commitment, therefore, is not just about her relationship with Ollie but also about her broader fear of defining her future, her identity, and her happiness.
The novel explores the tension between the desire to take control of one’s life and the fear that a single choice could lock someone into a life they might regret. Laurel’s internal conflict is exacerbated by her fear of making the “wrong” decision, leading to paralysis and indecision.
As she faces the reality of her shifting worlds, she must come to terms with the fact that not all choices have clear answers, and sometimes, embracing uncertainty is part of growing up and finding one’s true path.
The Role of Fate and Free Will
In What If It’s You, the theme of fate versus free will plays a pivotal role in the protagonist’s journey. Laurel’s experience of shifting between alternate realities brings her face-to-face with the idea that perhaps some things in life are determined by forces beyond our control, while others are shaped by our choices.
The program, AltR, is designed to simulate what might have been had Laurel made different decisions, giving her the illusion of controlling her destiny. However, this control is illusory, as the malfunctioning program presents Laurel with multiple versions of herself, showing that no matter how many paths she explores, she is still left grappling with the same fundamental question: which version of herself is the “real” one?
The novel invites readers to question whether our choices are truly free or if they are simply reactions to the situations and circumstances that we find ourselves in. Laurel’s journey suggests that while we may have the power to make decisions, the weight of these decisions often leaves us feeling as though fate is playing a significant role in shaping our futures.
The uncertainty surrounding her relationship with Ollie and Drew is a reflection of this larger question about the balance between the choices we make and the forces that push us toward specific outcomes.
Ultimately, the theme of fate versus free will suggests that our lives are shaped by a combination of both: the choices we make, guided by our values and desires, and the unforeseen forces—be they love, chance, or technology—that steer us in unexpected directions. The tension between these two forces is a driving factor in Laurel’s story, as she confronts the limitations of her control and the role that destiny plays in her life.