Definitely Better Now Summary, Characters and Themes
Definitely Better Now by Ava Robinson is a novel that follows the journey of Emma, a young woman navigating her first year of sobriety.
Struggling with her past, personal relationships, and career, Emma must come to terms with the emotional challenges of rebuilding her life. As she grapples with her own self-doubt, Emma seeks healing through AA, confronting both her personal history and fractured friendships. The novel delves into themes of recovery, self-acceptance, and the complexities of love and relationships, ultimately offering hope and a sense of renewal.
Summary
Definitely Better Now follows the story of Emma, a 26-year-old woman at the crossroads of her recovery journey as she approaches her first year of sobriety. Emma works as a marketing assistant in a dull job that fails to provide fulfillment, and her life is marked by a constant battle with self-doubt.
Despite making significant strides in her recovery, she struggles with the idea that she hasn’t changed enough to be proud of her progress. As Emma prepares for her AA celebration, her secret speech becomes a symbol of her inner conflict and desire to confront her past.
Emma’s relationship with her mother adds another layer of tension to her life. During a dinner together, her mother pressures her about dating, hinting at her own concerns over Emma’s loneliness.
This conversation foreshadows Emma’s ongoing struggles with her identity and her relationships.
As Emma contemplates her future, her biggest challenge lies in reconciling her sober identity with her fear of rejection, especially when it comes to her romantic life.
The story takes a turn when Emma meets Ben, the charming IT director at her office. They first connect when a computer crash at work exposes Emma’s secret writing, an awkward moment that leads to a flirtatious encounter.
Ben eventually asks Emma out, but she panics and lies about having a funeral to attend, illustrating her ongoing fear of sharing her true self. Despite the tension, their relationship begins to blossom, and Emma starts dating Ben, though she hides her sobriety, unsure how he will react.
As their relationship develops, Emma finds herself caught between her desire for authenticity and her fear of vulnerability.
She becomes torn between wanting to be loved for who she truly is and wanting to avoid the potential rejection of her sober past. This inner conflict intensifies when Emma reconnects with her childhood best friend, Susannah.
Their meeting stirs up old wounds, and Emma realizes how much their friendship has changed due to her past behavior. Emma struggles with the realization that some relationships, like hers with Susannah, cannot return to what they once were.
When Emma finally opens up to Ben about her sobriety, the reaction is not as supportive as she had hoped. Ben is unable to understand her need for sobriety and the complexities of what it means to date someone in recovery. This misunderstanding ultimately leads to the end of their relationship.
Emma’s decision to break up with Ben marks a turning point in her journey, as she acknowledges that she deserves someone who fully understands and respects her path to recovery.
Emma’s personal growth is further challenged when her estranged father unexpectedly reaches out. Her father, a former artist whose alcoholism had deeply impacted her childhood, refuses to acknowledge his own addiction, which forces Emma to confront painful memories of her family and her father’s inability to change.
This difficult conversation highlights the emotional weight of Emma’s journey and reinforces her need to distance herself from toxic relationships.
Despite these setbacks, Emma finds strength in her recovery. She takes on the role of a sponsor for a newcomer in AA, marking a significant step in her journey of self-acceptance and healing.
Sponsoring someone else allows Emma to reflect on how far she has come and the power of community support. Her confidence begins to grow as she navigates new opportunities, including applying for a new job.
This career change represents a fresh start for Emma, one that allows her to leave behind a job that no longer fulfills her and step into a role that offers greater independence.
As Emma moves forward, she learns to be honest with herself and with others. She begins dating again, this time embracing her sobriety and sharing her truth from the outset. She also works on rebuilding her friendship with Susannah, though their relationship will never be the same.
By the end of the novel, Emma celebrates her second year of sobriety, reflecting on the growth she has experienced and the lessons she has learned. Emma’s journey is one of resilience, self-acceptance, and the ongoing process of healing, leaving her with a sense of optimism about her future.
Definitely Better Now ultimately conveys a powerful message about the importance of embracing one’s past, accepting imperfections, and the ongoing process of healing. Emma’s story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the importance of community and self-love.
Characters
Emma
Emma is the central character of Definitely Better Now, and her arc is deeply tied to themes of self-doubt, healing, and acceptance. At the beginning of the novel, she struggles with a sense of inadequacy, particularly regarding her sobriety.
Despite being sober for nearly a year, Emma battles imposter syndrome, fearing that she hasn’t changed enough or that her past is too dark to be fully accepted. Her personal growth revolves around embracing her sobriety, which she initially hides, especially from her romantic interests, fearing rejection.
Throughout the novel, she learns to take ownership of her past, understanding that her experiences do not define her worth. By the end, Emma moves towards full self-acceptance, no longer hiding who she is.
She embraces her journey, becoming confident in her sobriety and her ability to live authentically. Emma ends the story stronger, wiser, and hopeful for the future, ready to pursue relationships and career opportunities without shame or fear.
Ben
Ben enters the narrative as Emma’s potential romantic partner, initially presenting himself as caring and confident. He seems interested in Emma and her life, but as their relationship develops, it becomes clear that he struggles to understand her sobriety.
Ben’s discomfort with Emma’s past highlights his emotional limitations and inability to fully comprehend the complexities of her journey. His reaction to Emma’s confession about her alcoholism is critical, and it marks the turning point in their relationship.
Ben’s inability to offer emotional support or to accept Emma’s full truth leads to their breakup. His role in the story is a catalyst for Emma’s realization that she deserves someone who can truly respect her journey.
Susannah
Susannah’s character is an essential part of Emma’s past, representing the complex dynamics of old friendships that have been affected by jealousy, betrayal, and emotional distance. Initially, Susannah is Emma’s best friend, but their relationship is marred by Emma’s insecurities and self-destructive behavior, ultimately leading to the loss of their bond.
When Susannah reappears in Emma’s life, their reunion is fraught with tension. Emma realizes that their friendship can never return to its former state, as both women have changed and grown in different directions.
While they attempt to rebuild their relationship, it becomes clear that their connection has been irreparably altered. Susannah’s role highlights the theme of healing and the recognition that some relationships must be redefined or let go of entirely.
By the end of the story, Emma learns to accept the new boundaries of her friendship with Susannah, understanding that while they will never return to their old closeness, they can coexist peacefully in a more distant way.
Emma’s Mother
Emma’s relationship with her mother is defined by love, concern, and a certain degree of overprotectiveness. Her mother constantly worries about Emma’s life, particularly her single status and the possibility of her never finding a partner who understands her sobriety.
Throughout the novel, her mother serves as a grounding presence in Emma’s life, pushing her toward dating and attempting to offer solutions that sometimes come across as overbearing. However, despite her sometimes misguided actions, Emma’s mother is ultimately supportive.
She may not fully understand the nuances of AA or Emma’s journey toward sobriety, but her care for her daughter is unwavering. Emma’s relationship with her mother evolves as she recognizes that her mother’s overprotectiveness stems from a place of love.
By the end of the novel, Emma comes to appreciate her mother’s support, even though they may not always see eye to eye.
Emma’s Father
Emma’s father is a deeply complex figure in her life, representing unresolved trauma and the refusal to face one’s issues. A former artist with a history of alcoholism, Emma’s father embodies the cycle of denial that so often accompanies addiction.
His refusal to acknowledge his alcoholism and his attempt to justify his drinking are stark reminders of Emma’s own struggles in her past. Despite Emma’s efforts to reconcile with him, his refusal to take responsibility for his actions reinforces Emma’s decision to distance herself from him.
His presence in the narrative serves to highlight the ongoing impact of family trauma on Emma’s life and her journey of healing. By the end of the story, Emma recognizes that she cannot change her father or force him to face his addiction.
Instead, she learns to accept him from a distance, understanding that some people are not capable of the emotional growth she needs from them. Emma’s father is a reflection of the past she must leave behind in order to move forward and embrace a healthier future.
Themes
The Struggles of Self-Worth and the Quest for Self-Acceptance
At the core of Definitely Better Now, Emma’s journey revolves around grappling with self-worth and seeking self-acceptance, particularly as she navigates her sobriety. In the beginning, Emma is unsure of who she is beyond her addiction, feeling like an imposter despite her year of sobriety.
This sense of imposter syndrome reflects her inability to accept herself as someone who is worthy of love and success, even after her substantial personal growth. Her constant struggle to reconcile her past with her present life shows how difficult it can be to break free from self-doubt.
Through her interactions with others, especially Ben and Susannah, Emma realizes that she must embrace her imperfections and mistakes without shame. This theme highlights how recovery isn’t just about sobriety but also about reclaiming your self-esteem and allowing yourself the grace to heal.
The culmination of this theme comes when Emma gains confidence, understanding that her journey toward self-acceptance is ongoing but valid.
The Emotional Burden of Secrets and the Consequences of Withholding the Truth
A major theme in Definitely Better Now is the emotional weight of keeping secrets, particularly about one’s past. Emma’s decision to hide her sobriety from Ben at the start of their relationship is rooted in her fear of rejection, and this creates a significant emotional burden.
She hopes that by not disclosing her struggle with addiction, she can maintain a sense of normalcy and avoid the discomfort of explaining her past. However, as the relationship develops, this secrecy begins to weigh heavily on her.
The breakdown of her relationship with Ben underscores the idea that withholding the truth doesn’t protect anyone in the long term. When Emma finally opens up about her addiction, she faces Ben’s inability to understand her journey.
This disclosure, although painful, leads to a moment of clarity for Emma: she deserves someone who respects her completely, including her sobriety. The theme explores how secrets often come with a cost, whether it be in romantic relationships, family dynamics, or friendships.
It also emphasizes how liberation and emotional health come from being honest and open.
The Complexities of Familial Relationships and Unresolved Trauma
Familial relationships play a significant role in shaping Emma’s character and her understanding of addiction. Her estranged father, a representation of unresolved trauma, has an especially significant impact on Emma’s emotional development.
Her father’s refusal to acknowledge his alcoholism mirrors the denial Emma experienced in her own life, creating a cycle of pain and neglect. Despite Emma’s efforts to reconnect and understand him, her father remains emotionally unavailable and dismissive of the gravity of addiction.
This dynamic forces Emma to confront the harsh reality that she cannot change her father or his behavior, no matter how much she yearns for a connection. The complexity of this relationship emphasizes the difficulties that children of addicts often face: the desire for validation and love from a parent who is incapable of providing it.
Emma’s decision to maintain distance from her father is both a painful and empowering moment, symbolizing her choice to break free from a toxic cycle that would continue to harm her. This theme highlights how familial wounds, especially when related to addiction, can persist through generations unless actively addressed and healed.
The Impact of Past Friendships and the Fragility of Rebuilding Trust
Another significant theme in Definitely Better Now is the fragility of past friendships and the complex nature of rebuilding trust. Emma’s reconnection with her childhood best friend, Susannah, brings to light the scars left by their falling out, which was exacerbated by Emma’s jealousy and self-destructive behavior.
As they attempt to rebuild their friendship, Emma realizes that the bond they once shared cannot be fully restored. Their reunion is filled with tension, and Emma recognizes that some relationships simply can’t go back to what they were, no matter how much she wants it.
This realization highlights how trust can be irreparably damaged, particularly when betrayal and deep personal flaws are involved. Even though Emma makes efforts to rebuild their connection, she understands that healing requires a different approach, one that involves setting new boundaries and accepting that things may never return to their original form.
This theme underscores the complexities of mending broken relationships and how healing often involves redefining the terms of those relationships rather than attempting to resurrect them.
The Role of Personal Growth in Overcoming Fear and Embracing New Opportunities
Lastly, the theme of personal growth is central to Emma’s transformation throughout the novel. Emma’s journey is not just about overcoming her addiction, but also about gaining the courage to embrace new opportunities and changes in her life.
She faces a series of fears, whether it’s the fear of telling Ben the truth, reconnecting with Susannah, or applying for a new job. Each decision she makes pushes her out of her comfort zone, challenging her to confront the fears that have held her back for years.
The novel highlights how personal growth is often a slow, ongoing process that involves taking risks and making difficult decisions. Emma’s ability to accept a new job offer and embrace a future that aligns with her authentic self symbolizes her newfound freedom and commitment to growth.
The theme emphasizes that personal development is tied to self-awareness, courage, and the willingness to face one’s fears head-on, even when the future is uncertain.