Finding Out by Jenni Bara Summary, Characters and Themes
Finding Out by Jenni Bara is a contemporary romance that explores the emotional turmoil, social consequences, and deep longing wrapped within a forbidden relationship. At its center is Wren Jacobs, a driven art professional, and Tom Wilson, a charismatic former baseball player and father to Wren’s best friend.
The novel masterfully examines how two people caught in a swirl of history, desire, and social obligation grapple with their feelings amid professional ambitions and personal loyalty. Their journey—equal parts sensual and tender—unfolds across a rich emotional terrain where the consequences of love are just as potent as the love itself.
Summary
Wren Jacobs is a young, ambitious art expert working at the Boston Auction House when she is unexpectedly offered a significant opportunity: to lead an art acquisition trip to New York City just before Christmas. The task involves the delicate and high-stakes transfer of a John Constable painting titled Stonehenge, and Wren sees it as a major turning point in her career.
Though the chance arises only because her colleague Larry must stay home with his sick child, Wren embraces the challenge, aware that this assignment could advance her into management.
Her excitement turns to nervous anticipation when she learns that the client involved in the transaction is Tom Wilson—her best friend Avery’s father. A former professional baseball player and now a coach, Tom is known for his intense privacy and selective nature.
Wren has known him most of her life and has quietly nursed a crush on him for years. Tom, too, is aware of Wren’s charm, intelligence, and beauty, though he’s long tried to suppress his feelings out of respect for his daughter and his friendship with Wren’s father, Heath.
Despite their attempts to maintain professionalism, the familiarity and unspoken tension between them build rapidly. Their shared history, inside jokes, and mutual love for art bring them dangerously close.
On the flight to New York and in their hotel, their banter grows more charged, with casual touches and meaningful glances revealing their repressed emotions. Wren is determined to focus on her job, executing the painting’s transfer with poise and precision.
Tom, impressed by her capability, oscillates between warmth and withdrawal, mirroring the internal war he is fighting.
After the painting’s successful transfer, Tom abruptly distances himself, retreating into silence and emotional detachment. Wren, hurt and confused, accepts a dinner invitation from a colleague.
When Tom realizes the depth of his feelings and how much Wren’s absence affects him, he acts impulsively—leaving their suite barefoot to find her, a moment of uncharacteristic emotional chaos. Wren rushes back upon hearing he’s locked out, and the emotional tension erupts into physical intimacy.
Their encounter is both passionate and emotionally revealing, signifying the collapse of the walls they’ve both carefully maintained.
The next morning, Tom brings Wren her favorite breakfast through a snowstorm, a gesture that touches her deeply even as she wrestles with guilt. Though they continue to keep their relationship private, the drive back to Boston is filled with lighthearted intimacy and moments of vulnerability.
Tom opens up about his regrets and the emotional numbness he’s felt since his divorce, while Wren begins to believe that what they have might be more than temporary.
Back at work, Tom’s appearance at Wren’s office causes confusion and jealousy when she sees him with her boss. However, he quickly clarifies that he was only there to ask Wren to manage his upcoming gallery project—another professional triumph for her.
Their closeness is nearly exposed when Avery almost catches them kissing. This near-discovery amplifies Wren’s fear of hurting Avery, while Tom continues to show unwavering support.
As the relationship grows, Tom begins integrating Wren into his life more deeply. When she faces a distressing night at a social event and later suffers from endometriosis pain, Tom is there—skipping Christmas plans to be with her and later bringing home a puppy named Caffrey to keep her company while he’s away.
These thoughtful acts begin to erode Wren’s emotional defenses, even as she tries to maintain a cautious distance for the sake of her friendship with Avery.
Their plans to keep the relationship secret until after Avery’s wedding begin to unravel. During a co-ed bridal shower, a seemingly innocent moment—Wren lightly touching Tom—leads to an explosive confrontation.
Her father discovers the relationship and reacts with fury, as does Avery, who feels betrayed by both her best friend and her father. Wren loses her home and financial security, but Tom stands firm, offering her a place in his life and home.
The wedding becomes a tense backdrop for emotional reckoning. Wren participates as part of the bridal party but keeps a low profile.
Tom’s toast subtly acknowledges their love and highlights his devotion to Wren, resonating even with those hurt by their relationship. Eventually, the emotional tide begins to turn.
Heath, initially devastated, recognizes Tom’s sincerity and love for his daughter and gives a reluctant blessing. Wren also confronts her parents, who begin to understand the situation more clearly.
Avery, after grappling with her anger and feelings of loss, realizes the love between Tom and Wren is genuine. She comes to terms with it, offering her forgiveness and tentative support.
With the main sources of conflict slowly healing, Wren and Tom are finally able to stand openly as a couple.
The story concludes on a hopeful note. After a period of separation, Wren and Tom reunite, stronger and more confident in their relationship.
The secrecy and shame that once clouded their bond are replaced by honesty, mutual respect, and the blessing of those closest to them. Finding Out closes with a sense of earned happiness and a future full of possibility, built on emotional resilience, trust, and unconditional love.

Characters
Wren Jacobs
Wren Jacobs is the ambitious and emotionally complex protagonist of Finding Out. A rising star at the Boston Auction House, she embodies a powerful combination of professional determination and vulnerability.
At work, she is sharp, detail-oriented, and clearly respected, entrusted with a critical and high-profile art acquisition that could fast-track her to management. Her expertise in the art world is not merely a professional skill—it is a part of her identity, and her passion for curation and preservation runs deep.
However, Wren’s journey in the novel goes far beyond her career aspirations.
Emotionally, Wren is layered and conflicted. She’s a woman grappling with the morally fraught and emotionally intense territory of being in love with her best friend’s father, Tom Wilson.
Her internal conflict is palpable throughout the story—she constantly questions the legitimacy and future of her feelings, struggling between what she wants and what is socially acceptable. Her emotional maturity is evident in how she navigates these stormy waters, often pulling back in an effort to avoid causing harm, especially to Avery, her best friend.
Yet, Wren’s restraint is tested repeatedly by the depth of her connection to Tom.
Wren’s capacity for vulnerability is also mirrored in her physical suffering, such as when she experiences a painful bout of endometriosis, a moment that strips her emotional armor and shows the rawness of her existence. Her fear of being judged, abandoned, or misunderstood is intensified by her already strained familial relationships.
And yet, despite the emotional turmoil, she evolves into someone who refuses to apologize for the authenticity of her feelings. By the end, Wren has grown into a woman capable of making hard choices, weathering the backlash, and still holding onto love—not just from Tom, but for herself.
Tom Wilson
Tom Wilson is a character defined by restraint, loyalty, and a long-suppressed longing for connection. A former baseball star turned coach, he brings with him a public persona that is cool and collected, but underneath that surface lies a man deeply affected by loneliness and emotional disconnection.
His relationship with Wren is the emotional epicenter of Finding Out, and through it, we witness his gradual unraveling. What begins as a professional transaction with Wren slowly morphs into something much deeper, challenging his moral compass, his loyalty to his daughter Avery, and his own sense of self-control.
Tom’s struggle with desire is not one born out of recklessness but of profound emotional starvation. Wren brings out a version of himself that he thought had long since disappeared—someone playful, vulnerable, and capable of intense love.
His actions, while controversial, are not impulsive but layered in thought, guilt, and longing. His barefoot dash through the hotel, his snow-covered journey for her favorite breakfast, and his final confrontation with Wren’s father and his own daughter all reflect a man who has decided to step into the storm for the sake of love.
He is also a man learning how to express emotion. His confession to Wren about his past relationships and emotional limitations signals a quiet, poignant transformation.
He becomes more than just the object of forbidden affection; he becomes a man who is finally willing to take a risk for something real. By the story’s close, Tom stands as a symbol of what it means to choose love even when it’s complicated, messy, and fraught with consequence.
Avery Wilson
Avery Wilson, Wren’s best friend and Tom’s daughter, exists as a crucial emotional anchor in the narrative, despite often being in the background. Her role is not simply to serve as an obstacle to Wren and Tom’s romance, but rather as a mirror that reflects the emotional stakes of their relationship.
Avery is portrayed as loving, loyal, and deeply connected to both her father and her best friend. Her presence in the story creates a constant sense of tension and anticipation, as the eventual fallout of the secret relationship looms large.
Her reaction to discovering the truth is one of heartbreak and betrayal, but also of self-reflection. Avery’s pain is not just rooted in the romantic taboo of her father’s involvement with her friend but in the fear of losing two of the most important people in her life simultaneously.
However, her eventual journey toward forgiveness showcases her emotional maturity. She is not painted as a villain or an obstruction but as a young woman navigating an emotional storm.
Her acceptance of Wren and Tom’s relationship, though hesitant at first, becomes a meaningful gesture that enables the narrative to arrive at its hopeful conclusion.
Heath Jacobs
Heath, Wren’s father and Tom’s long-time friend, serves as both an emotional compass and a source of conflict in Finding Out. His sense of betrayal upon learning about Tom and Wren’s relationship is visceral and justified, rooted not only in the perceived breach of friendship but also in his role as a protective parent.
Heath is a traditionalist at heart, someone who values loyalty, family boundaries, and mutual respect. His initial reaction is one of fury and heartbreak, throwing Wren out of the house and severing ties with Tom.
Yet, as the narrative progresses, Heath begins to reflect on the true nature of love and integrity. Watching Tom remain unwavering in his commitment to Wren, even when faced with ostracization, begins to shift Heath’s perspective.
He moves from a place of reactive anger to contemplative understanding. The emotional turning point occurs during Avery’s wedding, where Tom’s toast and quiet sincerity finally pierce Heath’s defenses.
In reconciling with his daughter and friend, Heath exemplifies the theme of emotional growth and the ability to see beyond societal expectations.
Kristine Wilson
Kristine, Tom’s ex-wife and Avery’s mother, provides a refreshing counterbalance in the story. Unlike other characters who react explosively to the revelation of Tom and Wren’s relationship, Kristine’s approach is grounded and pragmatic.
Her role is smaller, but she plays a significant part in stabilizing Tom’s journey. When Tom confides in her, Kristine neither reacts with shock nor condemnation.
Instead, she offers thoughtful insight, suggesting that she sees past the surface-level taboo to the emotional truths underneath.
Her reaction underscores a theme of emotional evolution and understanding that pervades the novel. Kristine’s ability to process the situation with grace allows Tom a safe space to acknowledge his feelings without fear of judgment.
She does not serve as a jealous ex or a disapproving mother; instead, she becomes a quiet force of acceptance and wisdom, highlighting the importance of maturity and open-heartedness in navigating love and relationships.
Caffrey
Though a dog and not a human character, Caffrey symbolizes emotional healing and companionship in the novel. When Tom adopts the puppy for Wren, it is more than just a romantic gesture—it is a sign of commitment, an offering of stability, and a promise of care.
Caffrey becomes a bridge between the moments of secrecy and the building of a shared life, a nonverbal way for Tom to say, “I’m in this with you. ” The dog provides emotional comfort to Wren in her most isolated moments and represents the life they are tentatively building together.
In a narrative so dominated by high-stakes emotion and moral complexity, Caffrey offers a quiet moment of warmth, hope, and unconditional love.
Themes
Forbidden Desire and Emotional Restraint
The relationship between Wren Jacobs and Tom Wilson in Finding Out is charged with the tension of a love that defies social norms and personal loyalties. Tom is not only Wren’s best friend’s father, but also her own father’s closest friend, creating a tangled web of emotional and familial responsibilities.
From the beginning, the characters are painfully aware of the stakes involved, and their interactions are steeped in a constant push-pull of longing and self-denial. Tom’s internal conflict is especially pronounced—his protective instincts and moral compass are consistently at war with his deepening desire for Wren.
He oscillates between physical closeness and calculated distance, struggling to maintain control over emotions he has suppressed for years. Wren, too, is consumed by her attraction, though she knows how it might be perceived by those closest to her.
The forbidden nature of their connection only intensifies their feelings, making each shared moment more intimate, more risky, and more loaded with consequence.
Rather than acting rashly, both Wren and Tom are portrayed as individuals who understand the emotional gravity of their situation. They are not teenagers swept away by reckless passion; they are adults, haunted by what could be lost—relationships, respect, careers—if they are discovered.
Their eventual surrender to their emotions is not portrayed as impulsive but as inevitable, the result of years of familiarity, longing, and emotional neglect in their respective lives. The hotel scene, where Tom’s loss of control symbolizes the depth of his emotional unraveling, marks the shift from suppression to acceptance.
This theme plays out as a slow unraveling of tightly held boundaries, culminating in a love that defies logic but satisfies a deep emotional hunger in both characters. It is not simply about breaking rules—it is about confronting the human need for connection, even when that connection exists outside the boundaries of what is traditionally acceptable.
Professional Ambition and Gendered Expectations
Wren’s professional aspirations form a crucial axis of Finding Out, with her art expertise and ambition representing more than just career advancement—they are expressions of her identity and her fight for recognition in a male-dominated field. Her promotion to lead a high-stakes acquisition of a John Constable painting is not just a professional milestone; it is a validation of her years of hard work, dedication, and skill.
This opportunity initially seems to be a merit-based breakthrough, but its context—being offered only because a male colleague had to bow out due to family responsibilities—highlights the underlying fragility of her ascent. Wren knows that any misstep, any appearance of favoritism or distraction, could jeopardize her credibility in an environment where women often have to work twice as hard to prove themselves.
The intersection of Wren’s personal and professional life becomes particularly fraught as her relationship with Tom deepens. While their romance is laced with emotional sincerity, it also poses a threat to her professional standing.
When Tom later offers her a role managing his gallery project, her initial instinct is not one of joy, but of cautious suspicion—will others believe she earned this on merit, or will they reduce her accomplishments to favoritism? This internal conflict reflects the broader societal pressures faced by ambitious women who find their personal lives scrutinized in ways their male counterparts rarely experience.
Her expertise is never in question narratively, but the world around her—her workplace, her parents, even her best friend—reflects back doubts and judgments that she must constantly push against. Her ambition is portrayed as steadfast, but always under siege by forces that trivialize or misinterpret her capabilities because of her gender or personal relationships.
In this way, her journey becomes emblematic of the quiet, persistent resistance many women must stage in order to claim their place in competitive, male-centric environments.
Loyalty, Betrayal, and the Pain of Disclosure
The emotional fallout from Wren and Tom’s relationship is most painfully felt through the lens of loyalty and betrayal, especially when their secret comes to light. Their romance isn’t just a private affair—it sends shockwaves through their shared community, particularly affecting Avery and Heath, the people they care about most.
Wren’s betrayal of her best friend’s trust and her father’s expectations leads to profound emotional ruptures. The reactions are swift and severe: she is expelled from her childhood home, ostracized from the inner circle of trust she once held dear, and left to rebuild her life on uncertain ground.
The intensity of these reactions underscores how deeply loyalty is embedded in familial and platonic relationships, and how betrayal—real or perceived—can sever those bonds in an instant.
Yet the novel doesn’t treat betrayal as an irredeemable act. It explores the aftermath with nuance, showing how moments of betrayal often emerge from complex, deeply human needs rather than malice.
Wren’s emotional response—her sorrow, her guilt, and her shame—demonstrates that she never took her relationships for granted, and Tom’s immediate support highlights the emotional maturity they both bring to a situation they knew would eventually implode. The process of disclosure, though painful, becomes a necessary step in the transition from secrecy to authenticity.
Reconciliation is hard-won and gradual: Heath must reframe his sense of betrayal through the lens of love and integrity, while Avery must confront her own sense of abandonment and hurt. The novel doesn’t offer easy forgiveness, but it does show that with honesty, humility, and time, fractured relationships can begin to heal.
In doing so, it paints a realistic portrait of what it means to betray and to be betrayed—and how love, in its most honest form, can begin to mend even the deepest wounds.
Emotional Healing and the Search for Belonging
Tom and Wren’s love story unfolds not just as a passionate romance, but as a mutual journey toward emotional healing. Both characters carry invisible wounds: Tom, from years of emotional restraint and a failed marriage, and Wren, from a lifetime of trying to meet the expectations of a rigid family and a demanding professional world.
Their connection becomes a refuge—a space where they can be vulnerable without fear of judgment or rejection. Tom’s transformation is especially poignant; a man once defined by control and detachment begins to show emotional depth, tenderness, and even playfulness.
From retrieving Wren’s favorite breakfast in a snowstorm to adopting a puppy to keep her company, his gestures aren’t just romantic—they’re acts of care that reflect a deep emotional shift.
For Wren, Tom becomes the first person to consistently prioritize her needs over social optics. Her relationship with him allows her to step outside of roles she’s long been confined to—dutiful daughter, flawless professional, loyal friend—and simply be herself.
The comfort she finds in Tom’s home, in their quiet domestic rituals, is contrasted sharply with the cold rejection she faces from her own family. As the novel progresses, their relationship becomes less about risk and more about grounding—about finding a sense of belonging in a world that has otherwise demanded so much and offered so little in return.
Their eventual acceptance by others, though hard-earned, mirrors the emotional home they’ve already built with each other. In this way, Finding Out becomes not just a story about falling in love, but about finding peace, acceptance, and home in the most unexpected place—a relationship once seen as forbidden but ultimately revealed to be exactly what they both needed.
Love as Defiance Against Social Norms
Throughout Finding Out, love is portrayed as a disruptive, boundary-breaking force that challenges the rules of decorum, age, and familial expectations. Wren and Tom’s relationship doesn’t fit the mold—she is younger, his daughter’s best friend, and the dynamic between their families is complicated by long histories and deep connections.
Society would label their relationship as inappropriate, possibly even predatory, despite the mutual consent and maturity involved. The novel forces readers to confront the limitations of such labels, showing how love often grows not in ideal conditions, but in imperfect, emotionally complex spaces.
Tom’s decision to stand by Wren in the face of public scrutiny is an act of defiance—a choice to prioritize emotional truth over social acceptance.
Their romance also challenges traditional timelines and gender dynamics. Tom, the older man with authority and influence, is emotionally vulnerable in a way that men in his position are rarely allowed to be.
He doesn’t just pursue Wren; he opens up to her, lets her see his weaknesses, and relies on her strength as much as she relies on his. Their love becomes a partnership, not a rescue or an infatuation.
Wren’s resistance to defining their relationship too quickly and her insistence on maintaining her professional identity show a refusal to let romance subsume ambition. In the end, their love isn’t defined by public approval—it’s defined by how they treat each other, how they face challenges together, and how they grow individually and as a unit.
Their union becomes a quiet revolution, not loud or brash, but powerful in its refusal to conform to the scripts others would write for them. Through this lens, the novel presents love not as a simple emotion, but as a brave, defiant choice.