Flashlight by Susan Choi Summary, Characters and Themes

Flashlight by Susan Choi is a compelling exploration of grief, memory, and self-discovery.  The story follows Louisa, a ten-year-old girl, in a small seaside town as she deals with the death of her father and the emotional complexities of living with her sick mother.

As Louisa navigates the murky waters of her emotions, she grapples with memories of her father and her changing relationship with her mother.  The narrative centers around her journey of reconciling with loss, understanding her identity, and navigating the conflicting forces of independence and dependence. Through poignant reflections and struggles, Flashlight reveals the depth of personal growth and emotional healing.

Summary

The story begins in a small coastal town where Louisa, a ten-year-old girl, lives with her mother, who is in poor health, and her father, a man who is overprotective and cautious.  Despite her father’s well-intentioned care, Louisa secretly resents his attempts to shelter her, particularly when it comes to her relationship with the ocean.

Louisa and her father often walk down a breakwater at sunset, a time she cherishes but also finds complicated by her father’s fear of the water.

One evening, as they walk together on the breakwater, her father finally opens up about his past, revealing that he never learned how to swim.  Louisa, who secretly takes pride in her swimming ability—a skill her mother taught her—feels a mixture of surprise and understanding.

She remembers their conversation clearly, though she can’t shake the feeling that her father’s last words might have held more meaning than she realized.  Before the evening ends, her father expresses gratitude to her mother for teaching Louisa how to swim and emphasizes the importance of safety in the water.

Tragedy strikes when Louisa’s father drowns after falling off the breakwater, swept away by the currents.  Louisa is found unconscious on the shore, but she has no memory of how she got there.

The uncertainty surrounding her father’s death and her inability to recall the details haunt Louisa.  She is left with a sense of loss, compounded by the mystery of what exactly happened that night.

At home, Louisa’s relationship with her mother becomes strained.  Her mother, now confined to a wheelchair due to illness, is dependent on Louisa, but Louisa’s growing sense of independence makes it difficult for her to fulfill this role.

Louisa resents her mother’s need for affection and pushes her away, demanding that the door be fully closed when her mother leaves her room at night.  This small act of rebellion is a sign of Louisa’s internal conflict as she grapples with her emotions and desires for autonomy.

In addition to her strained relationship with her mother, Louisa faces difficulties at school and in her social interactions.  She is labeled with behavioral problems and accused of stealing, which only deepens her feelings of isolation and misunderstanding.

Louisa’s time spent with a child psychologist is marked by her growing frustration at being treated as a problem to be fixed rather than someone who is simply trying to make sense of her world.  During these sessions, Louisa finds solace in a seemingly insignificant object—a flashlight—that she becomes fixated on.

The flashlight, which she takes from the psychologist’s office, becomes a symbol of her rebellion and the emotional neglect she feels in her life.

The flashlight also serves as a reminder of her father.  Louisa finds it and begins to reflect on their last walk together, which had been so meaningful to her.

Her complicated feelings toward her father and mother, along with her growing confusion about her own identity, create a sense of emotional turbulence.  She feels disconnected from the adults around her, who don’t seem to understand what she is going through.

The flashlight becomes a quiet but powerful reminder of the absence she feels and the need for connection.

As Louisa continues to navigate her grief and confusion, she struggles with her place in the world.  Her mother’s illness, the memory of her father’s death, and her own emotional turmoil leave her in a state of constant uncertainty.

Louisa’s internal journey is one of self-discovery, where she begins to confront the painful truths about her life and the people in it.  Her struggle to reconcile her memories with the present shapes her emotional landscape and forces her to reflect on her own growing sense of independence and identity.

In the final stages of the story, Louisa’s interactions with the adults around her become more significant.  She begins to understand the complexities of her relationships with both her mother and the psychologist, recognizing that both have contributed to her sense of isolation.

The flashlight, a seemingly trivial object, takes on new meaning as Louisa realizes that it represents both her desire for independence and her deep-seated need for emotional connection.  The stolen flashlight becomes a symbol of her rebellion against the pressures and expectations placed upon her, but also of her longing for something deeper.

Ultimately, Flashlight is a story about Louisa’s journey to understand herself and her place in the world.  As she grapples with the loss of her father, the illness of her mother, and her own complex emotions, Louisa learns that self-discovery is not a linear process.

The absence of clear answers and the fog of memory are part of her journey toward understanding who she is.  The flashlight, with its simple yet profound significance, encapsulates this journey of self-exploration, marking Louisa’s path toward emotional healing and personal growth.

Characters

Louisa

Louisa is the central character of Flashlight, and her journey is one of deep personal conflict and growth.  As a young girl, she is shaped by her father’s overprotectiveness and her strained relationship with her mother, both of which create an internal struggle for independence and freedom.

Louisa’s grief over her father’s death, compounded by the confusion surrounding the circumstances of his drowning, leads her to a state of emotional uncertainty.  She is portrayed as someone caught between childhood and adulthood, grappling with the loss of a father figure who, despite his best efforts, was unable to give her the emotional connection she craved.

Her rebellion manifests in subtle actions, such as pushing away her ailing mother, which reveals her discomfort with intimacy and vulnerability.  Louisa’s relationship with her mother is marked by resentment, as she resents her mother’s illness and feels burdened by her dependency.

However, Louisa’s true struggle lies within her self-identity, as she searches for meaning in a world that feels increasingly isolating.  The flashlight, a seemingly trivial object she steals, becomes a symbol of her deep need for connection and understanding, as well as a representation of her desire to assert some form of control in her chaotic emotional landscape.

Anne

Anne’s character is defined by the weight of her past decisions, as she struggles with abandonment, identity, and motherhood.  Her life begins in disarray, and her early relationship with Adrian sets the stage for her complex emotional journey.

The trauma of her pregnancy and her decision to give up Tobias—an act that haunts her for years—forms the emotional core of her character.  She feels a deep sense of inadequacy, both as a mother and as an individual.

Anne’s relationship with Serk, her later husband, further compounds her insecurities, as she is constantly torn between her emotional needs and her desire to meet the expectations placed on her as a mother.  Despite the deep love she has for her daughter Louisa, Anne’s own sense of failure overshadows their bond.

Throughout the story, Anne’s inability to reconcile her past with her present self is evident.  Her relationship with Tobias is marked by regret, and the phone call she receives about his troubled behavior serves as a painful reminder of her own shortcomings.

Anne’s internal conflict speaks to broader themes of motherhood, identity, and the search for redemption.  Her story is one of emotional fragmentation, as she searches for meaning while dealing with the unresolved tension between her desires and her past choices.

Serk

Serk’s character is rooted in themes of identity, trauma, and displacement.  Born in Japan to Korean parents, Serk’s life has been defined by a sense of being an outsider.

His painful memories of forced migration and the isolation his family faced as stateless people echo through his interactions and worldview.  His relationship with Anne is complex, marked by both emotional intensity and distance.

Although they share a child, Louisa, Serk’s overbearing protection of her reveals his own unresolved fears and insecurities.  His constant vigilance in raising Louisa contrasts with Anne’s self-doubt, adding tension to their marriage.

Serk’s role as a translator, coupled with his history as a fisherman, positions him as someone who straddles different worlds—geographically, culturally, and emotionally.  His past, shaped by the Korean War, Japanese colonization, and the trauma of exile, informs his every action, especially in his attempts to protect his daughter from the world he perceives as threatening.

Serk’s story is one of loss and survival, as he attempts to forge a sense of belonging in a world that has repeatedly displaced him.  His relationship with Louisa is strained by his overprotectiveness, yet his desire to shield her from pain reflects his own internalized trauma.

The complexity of his character lies in his struggle to reconcile his past with his present life, as he is constantly haunted by the scars of his history.

Amalia

Amalia is Louisa’s roommate at college and serves as a contrast to Louisa’s self-perception.  Brilliant, hardworking, and well-prepared, Amalia embodies the type of student Louisa aspires to be but feels she can never quite become.

Their relationship is distant and awkward, as Louisa feels inferior in Amalia’s presence.  Amalia represents the academic and social success that Louisa believes she lacks, which only deepens Louisa’s sense of inadequacy.

Despite the differences in their personalities and backgrounds, Amalia’s role in the narrative highlights Louisa’s internal struggle with fitting in and the pressures of academic life.  Amalia is portrayed as the ideal student who effortlessly excels, a stark contrast to Louisa’s inability to engage with the academic environment.

However, their limited interactions hint at a deeper connection that Louisa has yet to fully comprehend, reflecting the unspoken emotions Louisa harbors about her own self-worth.

Tamar

Tamar is a rebellious and unconventional figure who plays a pivotal role in Louisa’s development.  As a fellow freshman, she introduces Louisa to a world outside of the rigid academic structures of their prestigious school.

Through Tamar, Louisa is exposed to alternative experiences, from underground parties to countercultural gatherings.  Tamar’s influence provides Louisa with a sense of freedom and self-expression that she had been yearning for but had not been able to find within the confines of her academic and social life.

Tamar becomes Louisa’s link to a new group of friends who challenge the established norms, offering Louisa a sense of belonging that she has struggled to find.  Despite Tamar’s outwardly carefree and rebellious persona, she serves as a reminder of Louisa’s need to break free from the expectations placed on her and embrace a more authentic self.

Through her relationship with Tamar, Louisa begins to confront her own insecurities and desires, ultimately leading to her journey of self-discovery.

Roman

Roman is another key figure in Louisa’s journey, particularly during her travels in Europe.  As a fellow traveler, he becomes a source of comfort and connection in the midst of Louisa’s feelings of alienation and inadequacy.

Their bond grows through shared experiences, and Roman offers Louisa a sense of understanding and vulnerability that she had been missing in her life.  Through Roman, Louisa begins to confront her own feelings of displacement and uncertainty, gaining insight into her personal struggles.

Roman serves as a catalyst for Louisa’s emotional growth, helping her to navigate the complexities of her identity and relationships.  Though their connection is brief, Roman plays a significant role in Louisa’s journey toward self-acceptance, as he challenges her perceptions of herself and the world around her.

Tobias

Tobias is Anne’s son from a previous relationship, and his troubled behavior becomes a point of reflection for both Anne and Louisa.  Despite the emotional distance between them, Tobias’s deteriorating mental health brings Anne face to face with her own past choices and regrets.

His mental health struggles represent the complexity of his background and the unresolved issues surrounding his adoption.  For Louisa, Tobias’s situation serves as a reminder of the fractured relationship with her mother and the emotional baggage she carries.

Tobias’s role in the narrative highlights the long-lasting impact of abandonment, loss, and the difficulty of reconnecting with a past that remains shrouded in mystery and guilt.  His struggles with mental health become a mirror for the unresolved emotional turmoil that both Anne and Louisa face, underscoring the theme of emotional fragmentation that runs through their stories.

Themes

Grief and Loss

Grief and loss are central themes in Flashlight, deeply influencing Louisa’s emotional journey.  The death of her father leaves a significant emotional void, which is only heightened by the unclear circumstances surrounding his passing.

Louisa is haunted by the ambiguity of his death—she cannot remember how she was found on the shore after his drowning, and she is left to grapple with the uncertainty of what really happened.  This lack of closure makes her struggle with her memories, and she starts to question whether the final conversation she had with her father was complete or whether he said more than she remembers.

Louisa’s grief extends beyond the loss of her father, as she also deals with the strained relationship with her mother, whose illness makes her emotionally distant and dependent.  The weight of her father’s death and her mother’s condition forces Louisa to confront her own feelings of isolation and confusion, making grief not only a reaction to the loss of loved ones but also an ongoing process of understanding and coming to terms with the fractures in her family and in her own identity.

Identity and Self-Discovery

Throughout Flashlight, Louisa’s search for her identity is deeply intertwined with her experiences of loss and change.  As she struggles with the death of her father and her mother’s illness, Louisa is forced to examine who she is beyond the roles of daughter and caretaker.

Her growing independence and desire for freedom are evident in her resentment of her father’s overprotectiveness, especially regarding her ability to swim.  This act of rebellion against her father’s sheltering reflects Louisa’s need to assert herself and define her own path.

However, after her father’s death, she is left uncertain about her own identity and her place in the world, especially as she deals with the pressures of fitting into a world that seems to misunderstand her.  Her relationships with adults, including her mother and the psychologist, add to her confusion, as they often treat her with pity or accusation.

The flashlight, which she steals from the psychologist, symbolizes Louisa’s rebellion, her desire for connection, and the search for her own sense of self.  In the end, Louisa’s journey is about discovering that her identity is not determined by others’ expectations or judgments but by her own inner experiences and the process of accepting both her flaws and her strengths.

Memory and Ambiguity

Memory plays a crucial role in Flashlight, with Louisa’s recollections of her father and her experiences after his death often clouded by ambiguity.  This theme is evident in how Louisa struggles to piece together the fragmented memories of her father, especially the last conversation they had before his death.

She wonders if there was more to that conversation than she remembers, and whether the details she holds onto are reliable.  The uncertainty of memory extends to her own recollection of the night her father drowned.

She was unconscious when found on the shore, unable to recall how she got there, which leaves her with a sense of unknowing that permeates her grief.  This theme of memory is not limited to her father’s death but extends to her interactions with her mother and the psychologist.

Louisa’s memories of her mother are complicated by the tension between their relationship and her mother’s physical and emotional frailty.  The ambiguity in Louisa’s memories reflects the complexity of coming to terms with loss, as she is left to navigate her own emotional landscape without the full understanding of her past.

Rebellion and Independence

Rebellion and the pursuit of independence are key themes in Flashlight, particularly as they relate to Louisa’s development and her complex relationship with her father and mother.  Louisa’s desire for independence manifests in her secret resentment toward her father, who, despite his overprotectiveness, tries to shelter her from the ocean, a symbol of the freedom she yearns for.

Her ability to swim, something her mother taught her, becomes a symbol of her desire for autonomy, as Louisa secretly takes pride in this skill that her father never learned.  Following her father’s death, Louisa pushes back against her mother’s growing dependency, which she perceives as a burden.

Louisa’s insistence on having the door fully closed when her mother leaves her room at night is a subtle but significant act of rebellion.  It marks a moment of asserting control over her life, a rejection of the emotional dependence that others expect from her.

This theme of rebellion is not about rejecting authority for the sake of defiance but is instead a crucial part of Louisa’s journey toward defining herself outside the constraints imposed by her family and societal expectations.

Alienation and Isolation

Isolation is a pervasive theme throughout Flashlight, as Louisa feels disconnected from the world around her.  After her father’s death, she is left in a state of emotional isolation, unable to fully connect with her mother or the other adults in her life.

Louisa’s relationship with her mother, strained by her mother’s illness and dependence, leaves her feeling emotionally distant.  The psychologist’s office represents another place of alienation, where Louisa is labeled with behavioral issues and accused of stealing, which further deepens her sense of misunderstanding and loneliness.

The flashlight, an object she takes in an act of rebellion, serves as both a symbol of her alienation and her desire to connect with something that feels personal and meaningful.  This sense of being misunderstood and disconnected is compounded by Louisa’s internal struggle, as she feels lost in a world that seems increasingly distant and unfamiliar.

Her interactions with the adults around her—who view her with a mixture of pity and discomfort—underscore her sense of alienation, as they fail to see her for who she truly is.  In many ways, Louisa’s journey is one of navigating her isolation and trying to find a way to connect with the world on her own terms.