Ordinary Love by Marie Rutkoski Summary, Characters and Themes
Ordinary Love by Marie Rutkoski explores the complexities of love, identity, and the entangled nature of personal relationships through the life of Emily. A woman caught between the remnants of a controlling marriage to her wealthy, unpredictable husband, Jack, and her unresolved past with Gen, her first love, Emily faces the painful process of self-discovery, emotional conflict, and coming to terms with her own desires.
The novel delves into themes of self-empowerment, motherhood, and the sacrifices made in the name of love, all set against the backdrop of Emily’s journey towards independence. As she navigates the intricacies of her family and past, Emily learns that true freedom lies in the acceptance of her flaws and the strength to break free from the patterns that have held her captive.
Summary
Emily’s life is a constant balancing act between her role as a mother, wife, and the woman she once aspired to be. Her marriage to Jack, a wealthy man who exerts control over her and their children, has become increasingly strained.
While Jack’s passion for Emily is evident, his dominance in their relationship has led to an emotional exhaustion that Emily struggles to overcome. Her yearning for independence, both as a mother and a woman, is repeatedly tested by the obligations and expectations of family life.
The story begins with Emily tending to her garden while her children swim in the pool unsupervised, a moment that sets the tone for the anxiety she feels in her daily life. Her thoughts wander between the present and the past, focusing on her difficult relationship with Jack, her overbearing yet loving husband, and the memories of a strained relationship with her own mother.
These memories bring Emily’s internal conflict to the forefront—on one hand, she feels the weight of familial obligations, while on the other, she longs for personal freedom.
Emily’s emotional turmoil is not limited to her marriage; it extends to her relationship with her long-lost friend, Gen. Their bond, which once provided Emily with a sense of freedom and authenticity, ended when she distanced herself from Gen.
Reflecting on their past, Emily remembers the intense connection they shared during their youth, a bond that has remained unresolved in her heart. She also reflects on how Gen’s rebellious nature challenged her own understanding of success and belonging, particularly in the context of academia.
While Emily has always been driven by the desire for achievement, Gen’s decisions have forced her to question her own motivations and the value of external validation.
As Emily struggles to reconcile her feelings of guilt and confusion over her past with Gen, she also faces growing tension in her marriage. Jack’s controlling behavior reaches a boiling point during a luxury trip to a secluded location, where Emily begins to feel suffocated by his presence.
At a party, Jack’s domineering nature creates conflict between them, and Emily starts to wonder if she can continue living in this marriage without sacrificing her sense of self. It is during this time that she turns to her friend Jocelyn for advice, and Jocelyn suggests that Emily seek legal counsel regarding her troubled marriage.
This conversation signals a shift in Emily’s internal dialogue, as she contemplates her options and the possibility of a life free from Jack’s influence.
Despite her doubts and inner turmoil, Emily continues to move forward with her life, though the journey is not without challenges. She reflects on the sacrifices she made in her pursuit of family and stability, often questioning whether she gave up too much of herself along the way.
The more she reflects, the more she realizes that she may never be able to undo the decisions she made, especially regarding her education and career. These thoughts weigh heavily on her, as she struggles to reconcile her past choices with her current reality.
In a moment of clarity, Emily begins to see herself in a new light. Though she has endured much, she starts to understand that she is neither entirely trapped by her past nor entirely free from it.
She can no longer undo the choices she made, but she can move forward with resilience, understanding that her personal growth lies in learning to balance her identity as a mother, wife, and independent woman.
The climax of the story occurs as Emily confronts Jack about their marriage, ultimately deciding to separate for the sake of her emotional well-being. She seeks legal advice, hoping to gain full custody of her children and begin the process of ending their marriage.
However, Jack’s manipulative tactics complicate matters, forcing Emily to confront the painful reality of their relationship. As she navigates the complexities of divorce, Emily realizes that her emotional connection to Jack, though once intense, has faded into something less powerful and more toxic.
Emily’s sense of self-worth is tested as she contemplates her role as a mother and her ability to provide for her children on her own. Yet, despite the challenges she faces, she begins to find strength in her independence.
Her work, her interactions with friends, and her increasing sense of clarity regarding her future all contribute to her growing sense of empowerment.
Though Emily’s journey is fraught with emotional highs and lows, the story concludes with her taking charge of her life. She comes to terms with her past, acknowledging both the mistakes and the victories that have shaped her identity.
While she cannot erase the choices she made, she begins to embrace the future with a sense of hope, determined to build a life for herself and her children that is based on her own terms. The story ends on a note of resilience, as Emily steps into her future, no longer bound by the past or the expectations that once defined her.
Characters
Emily
Emily is the complex and introspective protagonist of Ordinary Love. She is a woman caught between the desires of her past and the harsh realities of her present life.
As a mother, Emily constantly navigates the difficult balance of caring for her children while struggling with her own sense of self. Her marriage to Jack is central to her internal turmoil; she is caught in a cycle of emotional exhaustion, where her needs are perpetually sidelined by Jack’s overpowering demands.
Jack’s love for her is intense but suffocating, and it leaves Emily feeling isolated and uncertain about her identity. She reflects on her past with longing, especially her relationship with Gen, which represents the emotional freedom she once had.
Despite her longing to reconnect with her more authentic self, Emily remains tethered to her responsibilities as a mother and the fractured bond with her ex-husband. Her eventual decision to seek a divorce from Jack and her emotional struggle to reclaim her independence are pivotal moments in her journey.
Throughout the novel, Emily’s growth is depicted as a poignant process of self-discovery, where she must confront the painful consequences of her decisions and the sacrifices she has made for the sake of family and love. Ultimately, Emily’s resilience shines as she grapples with the complexities of motherhood, identity, and personal fulfillment.
Jack
Jack, Emily’s ex-husband, represents the controlling and manipulative force in Ordinary Love. While he loves Emily deeply, his love is often overwhelming and possessive, creating an environment where Emily feels suffocated.
Jack’s wealth and power allow him to assert control over nearly every aspect of their lives, and he uses emotional manipulation to try to maintain the semblance of a perfect family. His actions reveal a man who is deeply insecure, masking his vulnerability through dominance.
Throughout the story, Jack’s attempts to reconcile with Emily after their separation highlight his unwillingness to truly let go, using guilt and emotional tactics to try to persuade her back into the relationship. His behavior ultimately becomes abusive, culminating in a physical confrontation that propels Emily toward seeking legal action.
Jack is a deeply flawed character, one whose emotional needs and fears overshadow his understanding of Emily’s desires and boundaries. His presence in the narrative serves as a constant reminder of the toxicity of their relationship and the emotional scars Emily carries as a result of their time together.
Gen
Gen, Emily’s first love, is a free-spirited and rebellious figure in Ordinary Love. Unlike Emily, who seeks validation through academic success and societal expectations, Gen embraces authenticity and a rejection of traditional pressures.
Their relationship, which began in youth, was emotionally intense, marked by honesty and vulnerability, but it ended in heartbreak. Gen’s struggles with her own past—particularly her difficult childhood and her decision to decline a place at Harvard—contrast sharply with Emily’s striving for success.
Gen’s choice to reject the conventional path reflects her desire to live authentically, but it also creates a rift between her and Emily, who is still grappling with the idea of belonging and acceptance. The reappearance of Gen in Emily’s life after years of estrangement forces Emily to confront unresolved feelings and buried memories.
Their reunion, filled with both longing and frustration, highlights the emotional distance that has grown between them over time. Gen represents the part of Emily that is still searching for freedom and self-expression, but she is also a symbol of the past that Emily can never fully reclaim.
Gen’s presence in the story challenges Emily’s understanding of love and self-worth, pushing her to reconsider her motivations and the choices she has made.
Jocelyn
Jocelyn serves as a supportive friend to Emily, offering a more pragmatic perspective on Emily’s difficult marriage and the struggles she faces in Ordinary Love. Jocelyn’s advice to seek legal counsel reflects her concern for Emily’s well-being and her recognition of the toxic dynamics in Emily’s relationship with Jack.
While Emily is caught up in emotional turmoil and the constraints of her marriage, Jocelyn provides a grounding presence, helping Emily see the bigger picture. Her understanding of Emily’s situation is not without its limitations, but Jocelyn’s concern for her friend’s happiness and freedom plays an important role in encouraging Emily to pursue a life that is not defined by Jack’s control.
Jocelyn represents the voice of reason that pushes Emily toward practical solutions and independence, offering a contrast to the emotional chaos that often clouds Emily’s decision-making.
Connor and Stella
Connor and Stella are Emily’s children, and they play an important role in the narrative of Ordinary Love. While they are not the focal point of the story, they represent the stakes of Emily’s decisions.
Her love for them is unconditional, and they are central to her sense of identity as a mother. Their well-being is a driving force behind Emily’s actions, particularly in the wake of her divorce from Jack.
As Emily navigates her emotional and personal struggles, Connor and Stella serve as a reminder of the responsibilities she cannot escape. Despite the tension in Emily’s relationships with Jack and Gen, her children remain a source of motivation and purpose.
Through her children, Emily finds a reason to keep moving forward, even when her own path feels uncertain. The way she attempts to balance her love for them with her own needs reveals the depth of her internal conflict and her desire to create a better future for them.
Violet
Violet is another key figure in Emily’s journey toward healing and self-discovery in Ordinary Love. As a friend, Violet provides a different kind of support than Jocelyn.
While Jocelyn offers practical advice, Violet is more emotionally intuitive, helping Emily navigate the emotional complexity of her past relationships. Violet’s re-emergence in Emily’s life serves as a sign of the healing process, as she represents a connection to a more authentic and supportive version of friendship.
Violet’s presence allows Emily to reflect on her own growth and the ways in which she has changed, offering Emily the space to process her emotions and find clarity in her decision-making. Violet, like Emily’s children, serves as a beacon of stability and emotional refuge, offering Emily the reassurance she needs to move forward.
Themes
Love and Control
In Ordinary Love, the theme of love is explored through the complicated relationship between Emily and her husband Jack. Jack’s love for Emily is overpowering, but it is a love that is tinged with control.
His affection is not freely given, but rather conditioned on Emily’s compliance with his desires and expectations. The story portrays how love can sometimes turn toxic when it involves manipulation and dominance, as Emily constantly feels overwhelmed by Jack’s need to control not just her but also their children.
The depiction of Jack’s volatile nature—where moments of genuine affection are quickly overshadowed by moments of anger or possessiveness—highlights the deep emotional toll such relationships take on individuals. Emily’s emotional exhaustion from constantly having to navigate Jack’s fluctuating moods speaks to the suffocating nature of this “love.”
Despite this, Emily holds onto the idea of love and commitment, even as she yearns for personal freedom. Her internal struggle of reconciling her love for Jack with the suffocating nature of his control is central to the narrative.
Over time, Emily begins to realize that her marriage, built on love but laced with control, has pushed her to a point where her own identity is compromised. This tension between love and control serves as a key theme, illustrating the complex balance of affection, power, and autonomy in relationships.
Identity and Self-Discovery
The theme of identity is crucial in Emily’s journey throughout Ordinary Love. As Emily navigates the complexities of motherhood, marriage, and her own personal aspirations, she faces an ongoing struggle to reclaim her sense of self.
At the core of her turmoil is her marriage to Jack, which has overshadowed her own needs and desires for years. This loss of self is evident as Emily reflects on how she has put her ambitions, including her education and career, on hold to support Jack’s career and meet the expectations of her family.
Her struggle becomes even more evident when she finds herself emotionally adrift, questioning the decisions she has made and the person she has become. Emily’s journey of self-discovery intensifies after her separation from Jack, as she begins to reckon with her choices and the sacrifices she has made for her family.
A pivotal moment in this search for identity occurs when she contemplates what could have been if she had followed her dreams earlier in life. This quest for self-reclamation is not just about undoing past mistakes, but about finding a new path that aligns more with her own desires and values.
The tension between the expectations placed on her and her own aspirations symbolizes the broader conflict many people face between fulfilling others’ needs and recognizing their own worth. Emily’s evolving understanding of herself reflects the emotional complexity of women who, in the pursuit of family and societal expectations, often lose sight of their own identities.
Freedom and Restraint
Emily’s struggle for freedom in Ordinary Love is a defining element of the narrative. While she loves her children and is committed to her family, Emily feels trapped in her marriage to Jack, a man whose love is both overwhelming and restrictive.
The theme of freedom is explored in the way Emily navigates the constraints imposed by her marriage, her role as a mother, and her own emotional needs. Jack’s control over every aspect of her life—from her social interactions to her choices as a mother—leaves Emily feeling suffocated and unable to express herself freely.
The luxury vacation that Emily and Jack take together serves as a microcosm of this tension between freedom and restraint, as Emily’s increasing unease reflects her growing awareness of how limited her personal agency has become. Her emotional unrest underscores the broader conflict that arises when an individual’s sense of autonomy is diminished by the desires of others.
In this context, Emily’s desire for freedom is not just about physical escape but a deeper yearning for emotional independence, where she can make decisions for herself without the pressure of Jack’s control. As the story progresses and Emily begins to see her life in a new light, the tension between her obligations to her family and her need for personal freedom grows.
Ultimately, the narrative highlights the challenge of balancing freedom with responsibility, especially when one’s personal freedom has been long restricted.
Friendship and Personal Connection
Throughout Ordinary Love, the theme of friendship plays a pivotal role in Emily’s emotional journey. Emily’s relationship with her childhood friend, Gen, represents a connection that is both a source of emotional refuge and a point of internal conflict.
Their friendship, once intimate and marked by vulnerability, has fractured over time, largely due to Emily’s personal choices and emotional distance. Gen, a free-spirited and rebellious individual, challenges Emily’s worldview and values, especially when it comes to success, belonging, and academic achievement.
The bond they share, though complicated, is a symbol of Emily’s earlier sense of self, a more authentic version of herself that she struggles to reclaim as she navigates her current life. The contrasting ways in which Emily and Gen approach life—one driven by academic achievement and societal expectations, the other by a desire for authenticity—forces Emily to confront her own internal contradictions.
Their interactions, especially their reunion after years of estrangement, bring to the forefront unresolved emotions and highlight how friendship can both heal and expose deep-seated vulnerabilities. The emotional pull Emily feels towards Gen underscores the importance of personal connections, especially those that allow for authenticity and emotional expression.
However, as their reunion unfolds, it becomes clear that time has altered their connection, and both women must confront the reality that some aspects of the past may no longer be relevant in their present lives. The theme of friendship in Ordinary Love illustrates the tension between nostalgia for the past and the necessity of personal growth, as well as the challenge of reconciling one’s past relationships with the current demands of life.
Regret and Forgiveness
The theme of regret is woven throughout Emily’s journey in Ordinary Love, as she confronts the consequences of her past decisions. Much of her internal conflict stems from the choices she made regarding her marriage to Jack, her decision to prioritize family over her personal aspirations, and her emotional detachment from Gen.
Emily’s reflections on her past reveal a deep sense of regret, particularly over her inability to maintain the bond with Gen and the life she could have had if she had made different choices. This regret is intensified by the realization that some of her past decisions, especially in her marriage, are irreversible.
The emotional weight of this regret leads Emily to grapple with feelings of guilt and self-blame. Yet, alongside this regret is the theme of forgiveness—both of others and herself.
The narrative explores the idea that forgiveness is essential for moving forward, even when the past cannot be undone. Emily’s eventual decision to pursue a divorce from Jack and her attempt to reclaim her own identity represent a form of self-forgiveness, as she acknowledges the mistakes of the past but also understands the need to move on for her own well-being and the sake of her children.
The story emphasizes that forgiveness is not always about reconciling with others but about releasing oneself from the burden of past mistakes. This journey towards self-forgiveness and acceptance becomes a key element of Emily’s emotional healing, as she learns to reconcile her past with her present and work towards a more fulfilling future.