PS: I Hate You Summary, Characters and Themes

PS I Hate You by Lauren Connolly is a contemporary romance that blends grief, humor, and emotional reconciliation in the aftermath of a tragic loss.  At its core, the book is about Maddie Sanderson, a woman grappling with the sudden death of her brother, Josh, and the forced reunion with Dominic Perry—the man who broke her heart and also happens to be Josh’s best friend.

When Josh’s final wishes demand that Maddie and Dom scatter his ashes across various U. S. states together, the story transforms into an emotionally charged road trip.  Through awkward, painful, and tender moments, Maddie and Dom confront their shared past, unresolved feelings, and the rawness of grief, ultimately navigating toward forgiveness and new beginnings.

Summary

Madeline “Maddie” Sanderson finds herself emotionally overwhelmed as she attends the wake of her beloved brother, Josh.  Trying to escape the expectations of grief-stricken decorum, she hides in a supply closet, completing work and steeling herself for the awkwardness of mourning.

Her solitude is interrupted when Dominic “Dom” Perry, Josh’s childhood best friend and Maddie’s first heartbreak, stumbles in, bringing years of pain to the surface.  Dom’s presence stings—he’s not just a symbol of her brother’s closest friendship but a man who once left her behind after a single night of connection.

His reappearance, sharp as ever, leaves Maddie feeling betrayed, especially when she discovers that Josh named Dom the executor of his will rather than her.

Their confrontation escalates when Dom delivers a letter from Josh addressed to both Maddie and himself.  It outlines an unusual and deeply emotional task: the pair must travel together across eight U.S.  states to scatter Josh’s ashes, with a new letter to open at each location.

The journey begins with a symbolic ritual at the Delaware beach, involving ocean waves and Dogfish Head beer.  Though the ashes fail to scatter gracefully, the experience sets the tone for a journey filled with both absurdity and heartbreak.

Maddie is enraged by her forced proximity to Dom, but she cannot deny her desire to hold onto the pieces of Josh’s memory.

As they navigate these destinations, Maddie and Dom’s old wounds resurface.  Dom is no longer married to Rosaline, Josh’s other close friend, shattering Maddie’s long-standing image of their stable relationship.

The awkward tension builds when Dom gently cares for Maddie during an asthma attack, a moment that undercuts her anger and forces her to acknowledge their history.  Their barbed exchanges and reluctant cooperation continue to deepen their emotional entanglement.

A late-night drunken confrontation leads to a kiss, one that Dom breaks away from, reinforcing Maddie’s sense of rejection and abandonment.

This rejection spirals into a motel fiasco, where Maddie lashes out at Dom in front of a confused desk clerk.  Their clash turns into laughter, another kiss, and then another withdrawal.

Dom’s hesitance feels like a repeat of the past.  Maddie leaves in the night, unable to face the echo of old heartbreaks.

Dom follows up with cold, matter-of-fact travel plans for the next destination, which Maddie resents but accepts.  A shared cabin in Alabama—quiet, beautiful, and remote—unearths new layers of intimacy.

She’s angry that Dom still remembers her preferences, still knows her.  When they open the next letter from Josh, his voice once again bridges the gap between them.

His writing, filled with humor and love, reminds them both that their grief is shared and valid.

Despite her resistance, Maddie’s connection to Dom continues to evolve through texts and flirty banter.  A particularly amusing exchange begins when Dom accidentally sends a shirtless selfie with a dog urinating in the background.

The image breaks Maddie’s emotional wall, eliciting genuine laughter and initiating a playful back-and-forth.  They become more vulnerable, sharing pieces of themselves again.

Maddie finds herself comforted by Dom’s attentiveness, even when they are apart.

The next chapter in their journey reunites Maddie with Dom and his younger twin brothers at a swim meet in New York.  Though she arrives unannounced, the twins welcome her with affection, especially Adam, whose flirtations are more charming than threatening.

Dom misses her appearance but insists on staying in contact as she travels back.  Their text exchange turns playful and protective, hinting at the emotional closeness Maddie has tried to resist.

Months later, Maddie and Dom find themselves in South Dakota’s Badlands for another of Josh’s chosen sites.  They read Josh’s letter, which asks Dom to sing loudly to scare off bears, and encourages Maddie to embrace life more fully.

As they hike through rugged terrain, Maddie’s asthma becomes unmanageable, and Dom carries her the rest of the way.  The act is both literal and emotional—he lifts her when she can no longer push forward.

They arrive at shelter just as a storm begins, snowed in together with no option but to face their feelings.

That night, in their shared room, they address consent, vulnerability, and the pain of the past.  Maddie takes the lead, kissing Dom with clear intention.

This time, Dom reciprocates fully, revealing that he’s loved her all along but didn’t know how to show it.  Their night together is both intimate and healing—a moment of emotional and physical connection years in the making.

It is not perfect or magical, but it is real and grounding.

In the aftermath, Dom confesses that Maddie makes him feel understood and wanted in a way no one else has.  Maddie, who has long feared rejection and abandonment, finally begins to believe she is not destined to be left behind.

However, the shadow of their past looms when Maddie brings up Dom’s earlier choice to propose to Rosaline after sleeping with her.  He explains it was a mistake rooted in obligation, not love, but Maddie’s fear still dominates.

As they prepare for the final destination in Alaska, Maddie decides to go alone.  She needs to say goodbye to Josh in her own way.

On the anniversary of his death, she spirals into an emotional breakdown, only to be comforted by friends Jeremy and Tula.  Their visit, especially Jeremy’s story of surviving an abusive relationship, helps Maddie realize that healing requires vulnerability and trust.

Reconnecting with Dom becomes inevitable.  He has been patient, steadfast, and quietly supportive.

In Alaska, Maddie suffers another panic attack upon hearing Josh’s final words.  Dom holds her through it, promising to live for her and with her.

Back home, Maddie also finds peace with Rosaline, learning that she, too, loved Josh deeply and was with him before he died.  The two women share memories and put together a final jigsaw puzzle—Josh’s last gift, an image of joy and friendship that binds them all.

Dom eventually asks Maddie for just one day, free of expectations, to prove his love.  But Maddie, now willing to believe in his constancy, gives him all her days.

The story ends not in dramatic reunion, but in quiet, chosen love.  The group completes Josh’s travel list together, not as mourners but as companions honoring his life.

Maddie finds a new sense of wholeness—not by forgetting Josh, but by embracing love, community, and her own strength.

Characters

Madeline “Maddie” Sanderson

Maddie Sanderson is the emotional nucleus of PS I Hate You, a woman navigating a labyrinth of grief, heartbreak, and reluctant self-reckoning.  The death of her brother Josh catalyzes a spiral of conflicting emotions—profound sorrow, guilt, and an embattled sense of loyalty—all complicated by the reappearance of Dominic Perry, the man who once shattered her heart.

Maddie is sharp-tongued and emotionally guarded, relying on biting sarcasm to deflect vulnerability.  Her grief is raw and deeply personal, not only for Josh’s loss but for the painful emotional entanglements his death forces her to confront.

Maddie struggles to reconcile the contradiction of loving someone so much—Josh—and resenting the person he trusted most—Dom.  Her journey with Dom, tethered by her brother’s final wishes, becomes a reluctant pilgrimage of grief and rediscovery.

Though she consistently tries to assert independence and emotional distance, her inner world betrays a longing for connection, affirmation, and healing.  Maddie’s evolution is layered with contradictions: anger laced with yearning, humor tempered by anguish, and bravery haunted by the fear of abandonment.

Her transformation is not linear; instead, it’s marked by false starts, angry retreats, and unexpected moments of closeness that eventually bring her to a place of tentative trust and love.  Ultimately, Maddie’s resilience lies in her capacity to feel deeply even when it terrifies her, and her reluctant willingness to let the past inform her future rather than define it.

Dominic “Dom” Perry

Dominic Perry stands as a quiet, complicated contrast to Maddie’s emotional volatility.  As Josh’s best friend and executor of his will, Dom is the persistent figure Maddie can’t seem to escape.

Where Maddie is fire, Dom is ice—stoic, composed, and often unreadable.  However, beneath this surface lies a reservoir of guilt, devotion, and long-repressed emotion.

Dom’s role in Maddie’s heartbreak is the silent axis of the story’s tension, originating from a moment in their past where he chose obligation over passion by proposing to Rosaline despite a powerful night shared with Maddie.  Though his emotional reticence makes him difficult to read, Dom’s actions betray a consistent desire to do right by those he loves.

He is the keeper of Josh’s legacy, the protector in Maddie’s moments of crisis, and the quiet presence that never demands, only supports.  Dom’s arc is one of penance and hope—he is a man trying to correct the past without expecting forgiveness, investing in Maddie’s healing even when he’s unsure of his place in her life.

His emotional growth is crystallized in his vulnerability, particularly when he admits that Maddie sees him in a way no one else ever has.  In that admission, Dom transcends the role of a past mistake and becomes an anchor for Maddie’s future.

His love is not grandiose but steadfast, defined by presence rather than proclamation.

Josh Sanderson

Though deceased, Josh Sanderson permeates every page of PS I Hate You, not only as Maddie’s beloved brother but as the architect of the story’s emotional blueprint.  Irreverent, playful, and loving, Josh’s personality lives on through the letters he leaves behind, each designed to push Maddie and Dom toward reconciliation and self-discovery.

Josh understood the emotional terrain of both his sister and his best friend better than they understood themselves, and his final request—to scatter his ashes across eight states—acts as both a love letter and a psychological gauntlet.  Josh is the unseen hand guiding the narrative, using humor and sentiment to soften the harsh realities of grief.

His memory functions as both balm and blade for Maddie, who clings to him while resenting the manner in which he bound her to Dom.  Through his letters, Josh challenges Maddie and Dom to confront their pasts, forgive themselves, and find joy amid sorrow.

He is a symbol of enduring love, and even in death, remains the most vibrant emotional presence in the novel.  His loss is the grief Maddie can’t outrun and the love she must honor, making him the emotional lodestar of their journey.

Rosaline

Rosaline occupies a complicated emotional space in the narrative—once Dom’s wife and Josh’s close friend, she is, in Maddie’s mind, both a rival and a puzzle.  Initially perceived through the lens of betrayal and romantic loss, Rosaline emerges as a more nuanced figure in the later stages of the story.

Her connection with Josh—revealed to be deep, loving, and ultimately tragic—forces Maddie to confront her assumptions and misplaced resentment.  Rosaline’s grief is private but profound, and it becomes clear that her relationship with Josh was deeply meaningful.

In one of the most emotionally healing moments of the novel, she and Maddie share drinks and complete a puzzle left behind by Josh, symbolizing the piecing together of fragmented memory and fractured connection.  Rosaline becomes not just a reconciled figure in Maddie’s life but a fellow mourner, united in love and loss.

Through her, the novel subtly interrogates the idea of rivalry and misdirected blame, reminding readers that pain often wears many faces and healing sometimes requires seeing others as they truly are.

Adam and Carter Perry

Adam and Carter, Dom’s younger twin brothers, offer moments of levity and warmth in PS I Hate You.  Their presence, though secondary, adds texture to Dom’s backstory and showcases his role as a caretaker beyond Maddie’s view.

Adam, in particular, brings a flirtatious, teasing energy that reflects a familial bond with Maddie.  Their playful interactions reveal how deeply entrenched Maddie once was in Dom’s life, underscoring what she lost—not just Dom, but the entire orbit of his world.

The twins’ affectionate welcome at the swim meet shows that love and connection endure, even when romantic relationships falter.  They function as subtle but powerful reminders of a shared history and potential future, their affection offering Maddie a glimpse of the life she could have had and may yet rebuild.

Through them, the story illustrates that grief is communal and that the echoes of lost love reverberate in more than just one relationship.

Jeremy and Tula

Jeremy and Tula, Maddie’s friends, provide critical emotional support during the final act of the novel.  Their arrival on the anniversary of Josh’s death is both timely and transformative.

Jeremy’s revelation about surviving an abusive relationship becomes a pivotal moment of empathy and emotional mirroring, allowing Maddie to feel less alone in her vulnerability.  Tula’s presence is equally grounding, offering a safe space for Maddie to cry, reflect, and begin the difficult process of healing.

Their friendship reframes Maddie’s emotional isolation, highlighting the power of chosen family in the wake of loss.  They are catalysts for Maddie’s breakthrough, their compassion nudging her toward emotional clarity and the courage to embrace love again.

In a narrative largely driven by romantic and familial love, Jeremy and Tula represent the enduring strength of platonic bonds and the necessity of communal healing.

Themes

Grief and Imperfect Mourning

Maddie’s emotional journey in PS I Hate You is dominated by a raw and frequently chaotic expression of grief, which refuses to follow a predictable or dignified path.  Her mourning is tangled in resentment, sarcasm, and the pressure to function in a world that seems indifferent to her loss.

Rather than presenting grief as solemn or poetic, the narrative strips it bare—showing Maddie grappling with the logistics of loss while hiding in a supply closet during her brother’s wake.  She is pulled between anger and affection, avoiding the mourners while simultaneously craving a connection to Josh.

Every task related to his posthumous wishes becomes both a burden and a gift, pressing her into uncomfortable emotional spaces, especially with Dom, the man symbolizing both past pain and unresolved longing.  Maddie’s attempts to release Josh—literally scattering his ashes—are rendered absurd and disjointed, undermined by failed rituals and awkward execution.

Through these episodes, grief becomes an evolving state, one that surfaces in waves of sarcasm, denial, nostalgia, and reluctant tenderness.  The journey Josh set in motion through his letters becomes less a final farewell and more an unspooling of Maddie’s identity, her guilt, and her memories.

The story’s insistence on portraying mourning in its messiest forms—through bar fights, vending machine rants, motel arguments, and unexpected kisses—refuses to sanitize loss.  Instead, grief is allowed to remain unresolved, filled with emotional detours that resist closure, but ultimately open space for growth, understanding, and even joy.

Abandonment and Emotional Rejection

The pattern of abandonment—both literal and emotional—echoes across Maddie’s personal history and emerges as a defining feature of her character’s emotional outlook.  Her heartbreak over Dom is not confined to a single past betrayal but accumulates through repeated experiences of being sidelined, forgotten, or rejected.

Dom’s earlier decision to propose to Rosaline despite an intimate connection with Maddie is one such searing wound.  Even though Dom later admits his feelings for Rosaline were never rooted in love, the psychological damage lingers for Maddie.

Her struggle isn’t just about romantic disappointment; it’s about the foundational belief that she is always someone’s second choice.  This fear infects her present interactions, manifesting in defensive sarcasm, emotional walls, and a reluctance to believe in Dom’s sincerity—even when he shows up, physically and emotionally.

Maddie’s self-protective detachment, her instinct to flee after moments of vulnerability, and her fixation on controlling the terms of their reconnection are symptoms of deeper insecurity.  She refuses to trust constancy, even as Dom slowly proves his commitment.

The culmination of this theme arrives in moments of near-connection—when Dom pulls away from a kiss, when he refuses to spend the night, or when Maddie walks away before she can be left again.  These cycles reinforce her internal narrative that she is not worthy of being chosen.

Only through the sustained and patient presence of Dom, and the emotional affirmations from friends like Tula and Jeremy, does Maddie begin to revise this narrative and allow for the possibility that love can mean staying, even after all the exits.

Love Born from History, Not Perfection

The relationship between Maddie and Dom is shaped not by romantic idealism but by their complicated shared past, their grief over Josh, and their emotional missteps.  Their dynamic is rooted in memory and mistakes rather than flawless compatibility.

Unlike traditional love stories that often celebrate new beginnings, this narrative emphasizes the difficulty of restarting something once broken.  From Maddie’s lingering resentment to Dom’s guilt and quiet devotion, their love is forged in the cracks of old wounds.

The story makes no attempt to smooth over their flaws—instead, it highlights them as necessary components of their connection.  Maddie is impulsive, guarded, and often caustic; Dom is reserved, emotionally hesitant, and sometimes oblivious.

But their shared humor, the ease of their banter, and their mutual respect for Josh bind them together in ways that transcend romantic cliché.  The evolution of their relationship—through roadside arguments, passive-aggressive emails, accidental kisses, and honest conversations—portrays love as a process of showing up again and again, even when it’s uncomfortable.

The story doesn’t offer a magical reconciliation but emphasizes small acts of faith: Dom moving for work to be near Maddie, Maddie letting Dom hold her through a panic attack, both of them choosing honesty over self-protection.  Their intimacy, both physical and emotional, is hard-won and deeply rooted in authenticity.

In this way, love becomes a choice they both make daily—not because it’s easy or perfect, but because it reflects who they are and the history they cannot deny.

The Burden and Blessing of Memory

Josh’s posthumous presence looms large throughout the book—not as a ghostly figure, but as a force guiding, challenging, and comforting those he left behind.  His letters act as both catalysts and barriers.

They keep Maddie and Dom together when they would rather stay apart, but they also offer closure in bits and pieces.  Memory becomes a complicated inheritance—one that Maddie alternately clings to and tries to escape.

Each letter Josh wrote demands an emotional task, whether it’s laughing through tears, performing silly rituals, or revisiting meaningful places.  These memories are laced with Josh’s humor and mischief, which contrast with the profound sense of loss his absence creates.

For Maddie, memory is often a double-edged sword.  Her recollections of Dom include both youthful crushes and bitter betrayal; her memories of Josh are joyful but painful reminders of what she’s lost.

The interplay of past and present—through travel, storytelling, and shared recollections—grounds the characters in their grief but also allows them to move forward.  The letters serve not as closure but as invitations to stay connected, to keep remembering, and to allow those memories to shape their decisions.

Josh’s presence in these acts makes grief feel less like an ending and more like an evolving relationship with the past.  Ultimately, the book suggests that memory, when held with care rather than resistance, can act as both anchor and sail—offering both grounding and direction.

Vulnerability as Strength

Maddie’s arc in PS I Hate You hinges on the gradual realization that vulnerability does not weaken her—it defines her capacity to love, to grieve, and to heal.  Her initial self-presentation is fiercely guarded; she wears sarcasm like armor and deploys deflection whenever emotions grow too intense.

Even her physical condition—an asthma attack on the trail—is a metaphor for how difficult it is for her to breathe freely in emotionally suffocating spaces.  Yet the more she resists her own feelings, the more they resurface in unexpected and uncontrollable ways.

The turning point is not a grand gesture but a series of quiet reckonings: Dom staying through a panic attack, Jeremy confessing his own trauma, and Rosaline offering closure without blame.  These moments strip Maddie of her habitual defenses.

She begins to see that strength lies not in walking away first or pretending to be unaffected but in admitting that she is scared, hurt, and still hopeful.  Her emotional honesty in the latter part of the book—when she tells Dom how deeply she feels, when she lets friends comfort her, when she stops dodging the ache of Josh’s absence—signals growth that feels hard-earned.

The story redefines strength as the ability to stay emotionally present, even when it hurts.  Maddie’s eventual choice to be with Dom, not because she needs him but because she wants him, stems from this new understanding of herself.

Vulnerability, once a source of shame, becomes her most profound expression of love and connection.