20 Ugly Love Book Club Questions

If you love a good cry mixed with a steamy romance that’ll make you blush, check out “Ugly Love” by Colleen Hoover! It’s this super popular book about a nurse named Tate and a pilot named Miles who start off with a casual fling.

But, as you can guess, feelings get involved and things get messy.

Hoover really digs into how we build walls around ourselves, the way love can be both amazing and heartbreaking, and finding the courage to break the rules sometimes.

If you’re looking for a book to discuss with friends, this one will have you debating and analyzing all the characters and their tangled-up relationships.

It’s the type of book you won’t want to put down!

Ugly Love Book Club Questions

• Miles’s past trauma and the loss of his child led him to construct elaborate emotional walls. Do you think his refusal to discuss the past was a justified form of self-protection, or did it ultimately hinder his ability to heal and have a fulfilling relationship with Tate? Could there have been a healthy middle ground between complete emotional repression and fully revisiting his trauma?

• Tate demonstrates incredible persistence in her pursuit of Miles, despite his emotional distance and initial rules for their arrangement. Were her actions motivated by genuine love and understanding, or could they be perceived as a lack of self-respect? In the pursuit of love, when does persistence become unhealthy, and how do we balance our feelings with our needs for emotional boundaries?

• The title of the novel suggests that the relationship between Tate and Miles is a form of “ugly love.” What specific moments or aspects of their dynamic embody this concept? Do you think their ability to find love through this experience negates the pain, or does it underscore that love can be complex and exist even in unhealthy circumstances?

• Characters like Corbin and Cap play a significant role in influencing and supporting Tate and Miles’s journey. How does Corbin’s protectiveness over Tate and his later acceptance of Miles shape the story? In what ways does Cap’s friendship with both Tate and Miles provide levity and a different perspective on their relationship?

• The novel concludes with Miles demonstrating his openness to embracing love and family again. Given the weight of his trauma, do you consider this ending realistic and satisfying? Does a story with this level of emotional pain always need a fully resolved, happy ending, or are there instances where leaving some healing and growth for the readers’ imagination is more powerful?

• The structure of the novel, with alternating chapters from Tate’s present-day experiences and Miles’s past, creates a unique narrative. How does understanding Miles’s trauma influence your view of his behavior in the present? Did knowing about the tragic accident and the loss of his child change your perception of him?

• Miles carries a deep sense of guilt and self-blame due to the circumstances of his child’s death. Should he have forgiven himself for his actions in a situation out of his control? Could Tate truly love and accept Miles without him coming to terms with his past and forgiving himself?

• Tate and Miles start their relationship with a set of “rules” meant to limit emotional involvement. Did these rules initially provide a sense of protection or agency, or did they ultimately contribute to the dysfunctional nature of their relationship? How do externally imposed limitations influence the dynamics of a romantic connection?

• Colleen Hoover’s novels often explore complex themes of unhealthy relationships and trauma. Does Tate and Miles’s story perpetuate harmful tropes about romantic love, or does it ultimately offer hope that individuals can break away from cycles of pain and find healthier connections?

• “Ugly Love” challenges traditional notions of what constitutes a healthy, desirable relationship. Does the novel endorse a belief that love and pain are inseparable, or can we create and maintain relationships built on mutual respect, trust, and emotional openness? Does the novel ultimately offer a hopeful or a cautionary tale about the pursuit of love?

• The novel grapples with a relationship dynamic between Tate and Miles termed “ugly love”. While the story includes a happy ending, does this portrayal glamorize a potentially harmful type of love? Could the acceptance of emotional pain and a lack of boundaries early in their relationship become a dangerous precedent in a real-world context? How does the novel balance the desire for a passionate love story with the need to portray healthy relationships?

• Tate demonstrates significant personal growth by eventually demanding more from Miles and leaving their unbalanced dynamic. How crucial was her act of moving out in finally changing the power dynamic of their relationship? Did her persistence earlier in the novel enable Miles’s behavior, or was it a necessary expression of her love? Would the story have been more impactful if Tate had left sooner?

• Miles’s journey toward emotional healing is intertwined with the concept of forgiveness, particularly forgiving himself. To what extent is Miles’s internal forgiveness necessary for him to find love and happiness with Tate? Does self-forgiveness always need to precede acceptance and love from others, or can those occur simultaneously?

• Both Miles and Tate are significantly motivated by fear. How does Miles’s fear manifest differently from Tate’s? Does the novel effectively argue that overcoming fear is essential for personal growth and building genuine connections? Could their characters have developed in the same way without such deep-seated fear motivating them?

• Miles initially attempts to exert complete control over his relationship with Tate to protect himself from emotional pain. To what extent does this need for control create more harm than good? Does the novel ultimately suggest that relinquishing control is a necessary step toward finding truly fulfilling love? Is there a healthy balance between control and vulnerability in real-world relationships?

• Tate demonstrates a significant shift in her ability to establish and uphold boundaries. Initially, she agrees to conditions within her relationship with Miles that ultimately leave her feeling unfulfilled. How does her eventual decision to move out and end the dysfunctional dynamic contribute to her character growth? Could this be seen as a positive example of boundary-setting within a complex emotional situation, or did her initial acceptance of Miles’s actions weaken her position later on?

• Miles’s emotional control stems from his fear of experiencing further pain after profound loss. Does this justify his attempts to control Tate’s emotions and dictate the nature of their relationship? Is there a distinction between self-protection and emotional manipulation, and where does Miles’s behavior fall on this spectrum?

• Both Tate and Miles benefit from the guidance of mentor figures – Tate has Cap, while Miles has Rachel (and to some extent, Ian). How do these characters illuminate different aspects of Tate and Miles’s personalities? Examine how their guidance shapes the choices Tate and Miles make, for better or worse.

• Tate and Corbin’s sibling relationship plays a key role in the novel. Consider Corbin’s protectiveness towards Tate; does this serve to empower her, or does it inadvertently mirror Miles’s controlling tendencies? How does Corbin act as a foil to Miles, highlighting his flaws, while also driving Tate towards difficult but necessary choices about her personal life?

• Miles and Dillon exemplify contrasting models of masculinity – one is emotionally repressed, while the other is openly disrespectful. How does their presence highlight a broader commentary about male behavior within relationships? Analyze their choices, motivations, and the consequences of their actions upon Tate and those around them. Does this ultimately offer a critique of particular forms of ‘toxic’ masculinity?