Don’t Forget to Write Summary, Characters and Themes
Don’t Forget to Write by Sara Goodman Confino is a warm, witty coming-of-age novel set in the 1960s that blends sharp humor, tender heart, and multi-generational wisdom.
The story follows 20-year-old Marilyn Kleinman, whose impulsive kiss with the rabbi’s son during Shabbat lands her in scandal—and exile. Sent to live with her formidable Great-Aunt Ada, a high-society matchmaker with rules for everything, Marilyn finds herself reluctantly swept into a world of old-school courtship, strong women, and surprising mentorship. What begins as punishment turns into a transformative summer where Marilyn learns how to navigate love, independence, family expectations, and—most importantly—how to write her own story.
Summary
Don’t Forget to Write begins with a scandal that shakes Marilyn Kleinman’s well-ordered Jewish community: she’s caught making out with the rabbi’s son during Shabbat services, and the incident literally crashes into sacred space when they tumble through a stained-glass panel.
Her father, furious and ashamed, gives her an ultimatum—marry the boy or leave home.
Marilyn, headstrong and hungry for independence, chooses exile. She’s sent to live with her great-aunt Ada in Philadelphia, a glamorous, no-nonsense matchmaker with a firm belief in tradition and discipline.
Ada’s world is as rigid as her perfectly coiffed hair.
She confiscates Marilyn’s lipstick, controls her schedule, and assigns her tasks that feel like punishment—such as collecting eligible bachelor data at the park. But as Marilyn settles into her new life, she begins to see that Ada’s stern exterior hides layers of wisdom, strategy, and a complicated past. Marilyn becomes involved in Ada’s matchmaking business, learning how to read people and uncover what they really want beneath what their families expect.
Slowly, Marilyn stops resisting and starts observing, even admiring, Ada’s methods.
As Marilyn becomes more than just an assistant, she also starts digging into her family’s past—discovering secrets about her mother’s rebellious youth and Ada’s own lost love, a fiancé who died during the war. These quiet revelations reshape how Marilyn views both herself and the generations of women who came before her.
Everything shifts when Marilyn and Ada relocate to Ada’s beach house on the Jersey Shore for the summer matchmaking season.
There, Marilyn takes on even more responsibility—interviewing clients, handling social events, and managing the drama of high-stakes romantic pairings. She reconnects with Freddy, a charming, progressive young man she met earlier, and their flirtation turns tender.
But Marilyn is determined not to fall into the same trap that got her exiled—being defined by a man.
Meanwhile, she deals with real-life problems among her new circle: a friend’s secret pregnancy, a botched match that threatens reputations, and Ada’s own vulnerability when her health falters. Through it all, Marilyn grows from a headstrong girl into a self-assured woman.
She begins to reshape Ada’s methods, suggesting matches based on genuine connection instead of pedigree—and shockingly, some of them work.
Marilyn’s transformation is noticed even by her parents, who visit and barely recognize the poised young woman who greets them. She has found her voice, not just in matchmaking but in writing.
Inspired by Ada’s legacy, her mother’s past, and the colorful cast of clients, Marilyn begins crafting a story that blends fact with fiction—a novel drawn from her summer of transformation.
When Freddy proposes, Marilyn gently turns him down—not because she doesn’t care for him, but because she’s not ready to hand her story over to someone else. She chooses herself, her future, and her writing.
Ada, once a strict enforcer of appearances, surprises Marilyn with a heartfelt gesture: returning her confiscated lipstick, a symbol that Marilyn has earned her autonomy.
In the final chapters, Marilyn returns to Philadelphia with renewed purpose. She plans to finish college, publish her book, and live life on her terms. As she visits the synagogue where it all began, she laughs, realizing that the scandal wasn’t an ending—it was the beginning of her becoming.
She writes Ada a thank-you letter, and Ada’s reply is short and sweet: “You were never the problem. Just the story waiting to be written. Don’t forget to write.”
Characters
Marilyn Susan Kleinman
Marilyn is a 20-year-old woman at the crossroads of her life, dealing with both the expectations of her family and the desire for independence. Initially rebellious and headstrong, Marilyn’s world shifts dramatically after a scandal at synagogue leads to her exile to live with her Aunt Ada in Philadelphia.
She is depicted as independent, often resisting traditional gender roles, particularly in her early reluctance to marry Daniel, the rabbi’s son, despite her father’s pressure. Her journey through the novel reveals a deeper understanding of herself, as she begins to admire Ada’s strength and tenacity.
Marilyn starts with a sense of confusion and defiance but gradually transforms into someone more self-assured, confident in her own identity. By the end of the story, Marilyn embraces her own unique path, combining her love for writing and her burgeoning interest in matchmaking.
Her character arc is a journey of self-discovery, evolving from a rebellious girl into a woman who has defined her own version of success.
Aunt Ada
Ada, Marilyn’s great-aunt, is a formidable woman who runs a matchmaking business with both authority and grace. She is glamorous, disciplined, and often stern, keeping a tight grip on her life and her work.
Her character is built on her independence and personal sacrifice, and she embodies the complexities of a woman who has carved out a career in a time when women had limited opportunities. Though she appears controlling, especially with Marilyn, Ada’s actions are often rooted in a desire to protect Marilyn from the heartbreak and limitations she has experienced in her own life.
Through the course of the book, Marilyn uncovers the depths of Ada’s past, including her lost love during the war. These moments of vulnerability reveal a woman who is not merely a strict mentor but someone with her own regrets and unhealed wounds.
Ada’s mentorship of Marilyn is, at its core, an act of love, aiming to shape Marilyn into a woman who can balance independence with emotional resilience.
Freddy
Freddy is introduced as a charming, progressive young man who initially sparks Marilyn’s interest. He represents the modern, more relaxed world that contrasts with the rigid expectations placed on Marilyn by her parents and by Ada’s rules.
Freddy’s character is supportive, intellectual, and respectful of Marilyn’s desire for independence. However, despite their growing chemistry, Marilyn’s reluctance to commit to him underscores her evolving understanding of what it means to choose her own life rather than be defined by a relationship.
Freddy’s role in the story is significant, not just as a potential love interest but as a mirror to Marilyn’s changing perspective on romance and freedom. Ultimately, he steps aside, recognizing that Marilyn needs to prioritize her own growth over any romantic attachment.
His character highlights the theme of self-discovery and the importance of forging one’s path without being tethered to anyone else’s expectations.
Shirley
Shirley, a local girl Marilyn meets at the shore, plays a crucial role in revealing the less glamorous aspects of Ada’s matchmaking world. Her secret pregnancy and subsequent crisis serve as a catalyst for Marilyn to gain a deeper understanding of the pressures young women face, especially when it comes to societal expectations around marriage and reputation.
Through Shirley’s story, Marilyn learns the value of compassion, discretion, and the importance of looking beyond appearances. Shirley’s vulnerability and Marilyn’s support in helping her navigate the situation create a bond that shifts the dynamic between them from that of mere acquaintances to a more meaningful friendship.
Shirley’s character offers Marilyn a glimpse into the hidden struggles of women, helping her develop empathy and a broader view of what women can endure and how they can support each other.
Themes
Independence and Self-Discovery
A central theme in Don’t Forget to Write is Marilyn’s journey toward independence and self-discovery. Initially rebellious and trapped by the societal expectations placed on her, Marilyn’s escape to her great-aunt Ada’s home marks the beginning of a transformative period.
Throughout the narrative, Marilyn learns to navigate the restrictive roles imposed on her by her family and culture. As she becomes more involved in Ada’s matchmaking business, Marilyn gradually breaks free from the confines of her parents’ expectations and her past identity, developing a sense of self that is rooted in her own values and ambitions.
By the end of the book, Marilyn has embraced her newfound independence, choosing her future on her terms, whether through her academic pursuits or her creative endeavors.
Tradition vs. Modernity
Another significant theme is the tension between tradition and modernity, exemplified through the generational clash between Marilyn and Ada. Ada, a product of an older generation, adheres to strict traditional values and expectations in her matchmaking practices.
She believes in the importance of family prestige and stability, with a clear moral code. Marilyn, however, represents a more modern perspective, questioning these traditional norms and introducing more progressive ideas, such as the importance of personal connection and mutual interests in relationships.
This theme is explored throughout the novel, as Marilyn challenges Ada’s established methods, while Ada, in turn, offers wisdom on the importance of structure and legacy. Their evolving dynamic highlights the balance between honoring the past and embracing the future, making this theme particularly relevant in a changing world.
Female Empowerment and Mentorship
The relationship between Marilyn and Ada is foundational to the theme of female empowerment. Although Ada initially comes across as a stern, controlling figure, she ultimately becomes Marilyn’s mentor, guiding her to understand her own power and potential.
Ada’s strictness, though initially oppressive, is revealed to be rooted in a deep desire to protect Marilyn from the heartaches and limitations that Ada herself endured. Over time, Marilyn begins to admire Ada’s strength and independence, seeing her as a role model rather than a tyrant.
Ada’s own past, including her unfulfilled love story, becomes a source of empathy for Marilyn, who realizes that their relationship is not just about power dynamics but about mutual growth and understanding.
This theme underscores the importance of women supporting and empowering each other, especially through mentorship, and reflects the novel’s message about the value of self-realization and resilience.
Love and Relationships
Love and relationships, both romantic and familial, play a crucial role in shaping the characters’ lives. Marilyn’s relationship with Freddy evolves throughout the novel, but she remains committed to her independence, even as she experiences genuine affection for him.
Her reluctance to commit highlights her struggle between the desire for personal freedom and the societal expectation to settle down. The story also delves into the complexities of familial love, particularly Marilyn’s strained relationship with her parents.
Her father’s eventual recognition of her growth symbolizes the potential for reconciliation and understanding within family dynamics. Furthermore, the theme of love is explored through Ada’s past, particularly her lost love, which adds depth to Ada’s character and informs her approach to matchmaking.
Ultimately, the novel portrays love as multifaceted, complex, and transformative, and it suggests that true love must be grounded in mutual respect, independence, and understanding.
Self-Expression and Creativity
Finally, the theme of self-expression and creativity emerges through Marilyn’s personal growth. Initially, she resists the structured life Ada imposes on her, but as she becomes more involved in the matchmaking business, she discovers a latent passion for writing.
Marilyn’s creative journey is symbolized by her decision to write a fictionalized account of her summer, blending personal experiences with her observations of others. Writing becomes a means for Marilyn to make sense of her life and relationships, offering a form of personal liberation.
The act of writing, in this context, is portrayed as an act of self-expression, a way for Marilyn to assert her voice and claim her identity outside the expectations placed on her by others. By the end of the novel, Marilyn’s writing is no longer just a form of self-reflection but a potential career, representing the culmination of her journey toward becoming her true self.