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First They Killed My Father Summary and Key Lessons

“First They Killed My Father: A Daughter of Cambodia Remembers” is a harrowing and poignant memoir by Loung Ung, detailing her childhood experiences during the brutal reign of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia. 

The book is a vivid account of the atrocities committed between 1975 and 1979, a period when Pol Pot’s regime aimed to transform Cambodia into a classless agrarian society, resulting in the deaths of an estimated two million people through starvation, forced labor, and execution.

First They Killed My Father Summary

Loung Ung is five years old when the Khmer Rouge comes to power in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. 

The first part of the memoir describes her life before the regime’s takeover, painting a picture of a close-knit and loving family living a comfortable life. 

Loung’s father is a high-ranking government official, which initially provides the family with some protection but later marks them for persecution. As the Khmer Rouge forces begin to evacuate the city, claiming that American bombings are imminent, the Ung family is forced to flee their home. 

Loung recounts the confusion and fear of these initial days, as her family tries to keep a low profile to hide their former status, which is a dangerous liability in the new society where the educated and former officials are especially targeted.

The narrative follows the family’s grueling journey to the countryside, where they are eventually separated. 

Loung’s father is taken away under the pretense of needing his expertise for the government, a common ruse for the execution of former officials. Her mother, desperately trying to keep the remaining family together, makes the agonizing decision to disperse her children to various work camps, believing this will increase their chances of survival. 

Loung is trained as a child soldier in a labor camp for orphans, and her transformation from a privileged child to a starving, grief-stricken, and indoctrinated soldier is a poignant representation of the regime’s impact on the innocence of youth. 

Ung’s storytelling captures the devastating loss of childhood and the chilling effects of being exposed to violence and death at such a tender age.

In the camps, life is brutal and dehumanizing. 

Loung, like millions of others, endures starvation, hard labor, and the constant fear of execution. She details the harsh daily realities: the minimal rations of food, the backbreaking work, and the Khmer Rouge’s relentless propaganda. 

The regime’s attempt to eradicate personal identities, family ties, culture, and history is a theme Ung revisits throughout her memoir, showing how the Khmer Rouge sought to control every aspect of life. Loung’s narrative is interwoven with her personal struggle to retain her sense of self and her memories of a better time, which serve both as a comfort and a source of pain, reminding her of all that has been lost.

Amidst the horror, there are moments of poignant human connection. 

Ung describes the bonds that form between survivors, the small acts of kindness that offer a glimmer of hope, and the indomitable will to live that sustains her through the darkest times. 

As Vietnamese troops begin to infiltrate Cambodia, the Khmer Rouge’s grip on the country starts to weaken, offering a faint hope of liberation. Loung’s escape from the labor camp and her journey to a refugee camp near the Thai border is fraught with danger, yet it signals the beginning of a slow and painful road to recovery.

The book concludes with Loung and her surviving family members in a refugee camp, where they face the challenge of rebuilding their shattered lives

They grapple with the deep psychological scars and the grief of losing their parents and siblings. The memoir extends beyond the immediate tale of survival, touching on the refugee experience and the challenges faced by those who fled the Khmer Rouge, as well as the long-lasting impact of such trauma. 

First They Killed My Father Summary

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Key Lessons

1. Resilience in the Face of Unspeakable Adversity

The human capacity for resilience is profound. 

Loung Ung’s story exemplifies how a person can endure extreme hardship and loss, yet still find the strength to continue and eventually overcome. As a child, Ung had to adapt quickly to the brutal realities imposed by the Khmer Rouge, losing her home, family, and innocence. 

Her journey of survival teaches us that while we may have little control over the external forces that disrupt our lives, our response to them can demonstrate remarkable fortitude. 

This resilience can be fostered through holding onto memories of better times, forging new relationships in adversity, and nurturing hope for a brighter future.


This lesson can be applied in our own lives by recognizing that while we cannot always control what happens to us, we can cultivate resilience by focusing on our responses to challenging situations. 

We can train ourselves to look for lessons in our struggles and to seek out support from others, understanding that hardship can strengthen our character and capacity to deal with future challenges.

2. The Destructive Power of Ideology Over Humanity

The book starkly illustrates the dangers of a dogmatic ideology that values principles over people

The Khmer Rouge’s vision of a classless society resulted in the dehumanization and deaths of millions, revealing how a rigid adherence to an ideology can lead to the justification of atrocities. 

Ung’s memoir warns against the devaluation of individual lives for the sake of a political or social ideal, showcasing the importance of empathy, ethical considerations, and the sanctity of human life even within political movements.


We must approach ideologies and political systems with a critical eye, ensuring that the protection of human rights remains at the forefront of any societal change. 

In practice, this means advocating for policies that consider the welfare of all individuals, promoting open dialogue and dissenting views to prevent the echo chambers that often precede humanitarian crises, and educating ourselves about the past to recognize the warning signs of oppressive regimes.

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3. The Impact of War on Children

Children are often the most vulnerable and voiceless victims of war, and their suffering can have lifelong effects. 

Through Loung Ung’s eyes, we see the psychological and physical toll that conflict exacts on young people, from the loss of family and security to the interruption of education and the theft of innocence. 

The book teaches that the impact of war on children extends far beyond the cessation of conflict; it can alter the trajectory of their entire lives

This underscores the need for a focus on the protection and psychological support of children in conflict zones as a central aspect of humanitarian aid and international policy.


When considering the implications of conflict, or in supporting humanitarian efforts, prioritizing the welfare of children is crucial. 

On a smaller scale, this can involve supporting organizations that focus on providing relief, education, and psychological services to children affected by war. 

On a larger scale, it requires pushing for policies and international actions that prevent the use of child soldiers, ensure safe zones for children in conflict areas, and offer asylum to those most vulnerable. 

Additionally, individuals can foster awareness and education about the impact of conflict on young lives to ensure that the issue remains at the forefront of international discourse.

Final Thoughts

“First They Killed My Father” serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the importance of remembrance, and the need for healing after the devastation of war and genocide. Loung Ung’s narrative is a personal and emotional journey that also provides a critical voice in the collective memory of Cambodia’s tragic past.

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