12 It Starts With Us Book Club Questions

Colleen Hoover’s It Starts With Us isn’t just a sequel; it’s a heart-wrenching exploration of love, loss, and the complexities of second chances. Picking up where It Ends With Us left off, we’re reunited with Lily Bloomwood as she navigates co-parenting with her ex-husband, Ryle Kincaid.

But her world is turned upside down when her first love, Atlas Corrigan, re-enters her life.

With alternating perspectives between Lily and Atlas, Hoover offers an intimate look at their past, present, and the tumultuous journey towards a possible future. As readers, we’re drawn into a world of raw emotions, where the lines between love, obsession, and toxicity blur.

In this discussion guide, we’ll delve deep into the complexities of Lily’s choices, the impact of Atlas’s return, and the enduring power of Hoover’s storytelling.

Join us as we explore whether a second chance can truly heal old wounds or if some chapters are best left closed.

Also Read: It Starts With Us Book Review

It Starts With Us Book Club questions

Book Club Questions For It Starts With Us

  • The novel intricately explores the theme of family, both by birth and by choice, through the experiences of Lily and Atlas. Discuss how the author portrays the impact of past traumas on their present relationships. What are some pivotal moments in the book that highlight the complexities of their family dynamics? How does the notion of a “chosen family” come into play, and in what ways does it offer redemption or healing for the characters?

  • Throughout the novel, Lily’s encounters with her abusive ex-husband, Ryle, and her journey as a single mother are central to her character development. How does the author use these challenges to shape Lily’s character? Discuss how her experiences influence her relationship with Atlas and her approach to parenting. How do Lily’s struggles and growth reflect broader societal comments on the resilience and empowerment of women facing adversities?

  • The conflicts between Ryle and Atlas, and between Atlas and his mother, are pivotal to the narrative. Analyze how these conflicts contribute to the overall theme of the novel. What do these moments reveal about each character’s personal growth or lack thereof? Discuss whether the resolutions to these conflicts are satisfying and realistic. What alternative paths could the characters have taken, and how might these have changed the outcome of the story?

  • Lily’s tattoo, inspired by Atlas, serves as a poignant symbol of their bond and shared past. Discuss other symbols or significant moments in the novel that contribute to the development of the theme or characters. How do these symbols or moments enhance the narrative or provide deeper insight into the characters’ motivations and feelings?

  • The theme of parenting, and particularly reparenting, is a significant element in the relationship dynamics between Lily, Atlas, and the children, Emerson and Josh. How does the act of parenting each other’s children help Lily and Atlas heal from their own childhood traumas? Discuss the ways in which the novel portrays the challenges and rewards of reparenting. What does the novel suggest about the power of caregiving in overcoming past hurts and forging new beginnings?

  • The novel portrays the harrowing effects of Lily’s abusive relationship with Ryle on her psyche and life decisions. Discuss how the author handles the depiction of abuse and its repercussions. How does this relationship contrast with Lily’s interactions with other characters? What message does the novel convey about overcoming such deep-seated trauma?

  • Atlas takes on significant responsibilities, especially in caring for his brother, Josh. Discuss the evolution of Atlas as a character through his caretaker role. How does this responsibility impact his own life and relationships, particularly with his mother and Lily? What does his dedication to Josh reveal about his values and his past?

  • Consider Ryle’s aggressive behavior and subsequent actions in the narrative. How does the author develop Ryle’s character throughout the novel? Is there a moment in the book that suggests the possibility of redemption or understanding for Ryle, or does the novel portray him in a consistently negative light? How does this impact your perception of him and the issues surrounding accountability and change?

  • Examine the theme of self-discovery and empowerment as seen through Lily’s character. How does her journey towards self-awareness and empowerment reflect the challenges faced by many women in similar situations? Discuss the turning points that catalyze her growth and how these moments are handled within the narrative.

  • Through the characters of Lily and Atlas, the novel explores what it means to create a home and provide stability. How do their efforts to build a safe and loving environment for themselves and the children serve as a foundation for their healing? Discuss the significance of ‘home’ in the novel and how it contributes to the characters’ sense of identity and belonging.

  • Atlas faces legal and ethical challenges concerning his mother and the care of his brother. Analyze how these challenges are portrayed in the novel. What commentary does the book offer on the justice system and its impact on family dynamics? Discuss the moral dilemmas faced by the characters and how these influence their decisions and relationships.

  • Towards the end of the novel, there is a noticeable shift in Atlas’s relationship with his mother, suggesting themes of reconciliation and forgiveness. Discuss the process and impact of this change. What does the novel suggest about the nature of forgiveness, especially within fractured family relationships? Is this resolution portrayed as hopeful, realistic, or overly idealistic?


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