My Favourite Bad Decision Summary, Characters and Themes
My Favorite Bad Decision by Elizabeth O’Roark is a captivating story that explores the complexities of relationships, personal growth, and the emotional journey of self-discovery. The narrative centers on Kit Fischer, a wealthy and privileged woman from Manhattan, who embarks on a challenging climb up Mount Kilimanjaro.
Initially pushed into the expedition by her father, Kit struggles with physical, emotional, and relational challenges that force her to confront her past, her complicated feelings toward her family, and the unresolved tension with Miller West, the man who once broke her sister’s heart. As Kit faces the physical obstacles of the climb, she finds herself reevaluating her life choices, her relationship with her fiancé, and her unresolved feelings toward Miller. This journey is more than just a trek up a mountain—it’s a metaphor for Kit’s emotional journey toward healing and understanding the complexities of love, family, and personal growth.
Summary
Kit Fischer, a privileged woman from Manhattan, is pushed by her father to embark on a journey to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. The trip, designed to push her out of her comfort zone, forces Kit to confront physical challenges as well as unresolved emotional issues.
One of the main emotional conflicts involves her bitterness toward Miller West, a man who once dated her sister, Maren, and broke her heart. Although Kit has spent much of her life in a bubble of wealth and status, she finds herself on a journey of self-discovery, triggered by both the physical rigors of the climb and her interactions with Miller.
Upon arriving at Kilimanjaro International Airport, Kit is confronted with an unexpected sight: Miller, dressed in a sharp suit while the rest of the travelers are geared up for the climb. Their interaction is tense, filled with years of resentment, particularly because of Miller’s betrayal of her sister.
Despite this animosity, Kit has no choice but to endure Miller’s presence as both of them join a guided expedition to the mountain.
Throughout the story, Kit’s internal monologue reveals her dissatisfaction with the life she has created for herself. She’s worked hard to climb the ranks in her father’s media empire but feels unfulfilled, especially with her relationship with her fiancé Blake and her lingering feelings for her ex, Rob.
The climb up Kilimanjaro is a journalistic assignment she resents, as it forces her to be vulnerable and exposes her to emotional challenges that she would rather avoid.
As the group makes its way up the mountain, Kit experiences the discomfort of adjusting to primitive accommodations, constantly reminded of her privileged background. She struggles with physical exhaustion and the constant comparison between her life and that of others on the climb.
A significant part of her internal conflict revolves around Miller, who not only represents a painful chapter in her sister’s life but also challenges her beliefs about love and relationships. Over time, as Kit faces the difficulty of the climb, she begins to question her harsh judgment of Miller.
The experience forces her to reconsider her own beliefs about family dynamics and relationships.
Kit’s relationship with Miller is complicated—charged with resentment and unspoken emotions. While she resents Miller for his role in her sister’s heartbreak, she begins to recognize the complexity of his character and the vulnerability that he is slowly revealing.
Their interactions are tense but also serve as a catalyst for both of them to confront their unresolved emotional baggage. As Kit continues her climb, she begins to re-evaluate her relationship with her father, her career, and her future with Blake.
The mountain climb becomes more than just a physical journey; it’s a metaphor for Kit confronting her past and examining the choices she has made in her life.
The climb tests Kit both physically and emotionally. As she ascends, her internal struggles intensify, and she begins to realize that her dissatisfaction with life goes beyond her career or her relationship with Blake.
She starts to see that her emotional struggles have been stemming from unresolved issues within her family, especially regarding her father’s influence and the choices she has made in her personal life. The presence of Miller, with his complicated relationship with her sister and his challenging demeanor, serves as a catalyst for Kit to confront her insecurities and unresolved feelings.
Kit’s reflection on her life and relationships grows more intense as the climb continues. She begins to question her engagement to Blake, realizing that she has been avoiding emotional intimacy with him.
Her internal struggle becomes more evident as she reflects on her past, particularly her relationship with Rob, which continues to haunt her. As the altitude takes its toll, Kit’s physical exhaustion mirrors the emotional weight she’s carrying.
However, through this process of self-reflection, Kit begins to recognize that her relationship with Miller is not as simple as she once thought. Despite their past conflicts, she starts to see that Miller may have more to offer than she had previously believed.
As Kit reaches higher altitudes, the emotional and physical toll of the climb becomes overwhelming. The challenges of the journey serve as a metaphor for Kit’s emotional growth, as she starts to confront her fears, her insecurities, and her unresolved guilt over her past actions.
Her interactions with Miller take on a different tone, with him offering support and care in ways that challenge her perceptions of him. By the time Kit reaches Lava Tower, she is physically drained and emotionally vulnerable.
The climb, both literal and figurative, forces her to examine the emotional barriers she has built up over the years.
The story progresses with Kit continuing to wrestle with her past and her relationship with Miller. As they face the harsh conditions of the climb, Kit’s inner turmoil begins to surface.
Her unresolved feelings for Rob, her guilt over her sister’s heartbreak, and her doubts about her future all come to the forefront. The climb becomes a cathartic experience for Kit, as she starts to face the emotional burdens she has carried for years.
Upon her return to New York, Kit finds herself struggling with her family dynamics and her future. Her relationship with Blake is on the verge of collapse, and her mother’s superficial concerns about her appearance only serve to further alienate her.
Kit begins to confide in her friend Maren, opening up about her experiences on the mountain, particularly her interactions with Miller. Despite her engagement to Blake, Kit admits that her feelings for Miller are still unresolved.
The emotional connection they shared during the climb is undeniable, and Kit is forced to confront her emotions and the implications of pursuing a relationship with Miller.
Kit’s internal conflict reaches a breaking point as she grapples with her loyalty to her sister and her growing attraction to Miller. She feels guilty about her feelings for him, knowing that it could tear her family apart.
As she contemplates her future, Kit begins to realize that she has spent too much time putting others’ needs ahead of her own. With Miller’s support, Kit decides to make a difficult decision to prioritize her own happiness and confront the past, even if it means risking her relationships with those she loves.
The story concludes with Kit embracing her emotional journey and choosing to carve out a new path for herself, one that reflects her true desires. Although the future remains uncertain, Kit’s journey up Mount Kilimanjaro ultimately leads to a personal transformation.
She learns to let go of the past and take control of her own happiness, ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead.
Characters
Kit Fischer
Kit Fischer is a complex and multidimensional character whose journey of self-discovery takes center stage in My Favorite Bad Decision. She is a wealthy woman from Manhattan, born into privilege, with a life that revolves around managing her family’s expectations and her career.
Kit has spent her life in a bubble of luxury, where her emotional struggles have always been masked by her outward success. Her engagement to Blake, which she feels ambivalent about, and her ongoing internal battle with her feelings for Miller are just the surface of her deeper issues.
Kit is forced to confront her past, especially the unresolved emotional wounds tied to her sister Maren and Miller, during the physically grueling journey up Mount Kilimanjaro. The climb becomes a metaphor for her own emotional ascent, forcing her to deal with her guilt, resentment, and longing.
Despite her initial disdain for Miller, her complex feelings slowly begin to shift as she sees beyond the man who once broke her sister’s heart. Kit’s transformation is a central theme in the book, as she grapples with her dissatisfaction with her life, her family’s superficiality, and her uncertain future.
Ultimately, Kit’s journey is one of personal growth, learning to embrace vulnerability, and recognizing that true happiness lies in taking ownership of her desires, even when they conflict with the expectations of others.
Miller West
Miller West is a man with a past, one that haunts him and those around him, especially Kit. Initially, he is the object of Kit’s resentment, mainly because of his history with her sister Maren and the pain he caused her.
Miller appears cold and aloof, but as the narrative unfolds, his complexities are revealed. He is more than the man who betrayed Kit’s sister; he is someone struggling with his own guilt and vulnerabilities.
His connection with Kit becomes a delicate dance of tension and subtle care, as Miller shows a side of himself that Kit had never noticed before. Despite the physical and emotional discomfort that the climb to Kilimanjaro presents, Miller’s quiet concern for Kit gradually becomes one of the few constants in her tumultuous journey.
He is the one who offers solace when Kit is at her lowest, and his protective side emerges, particularly when he defends her against Gerald’s criticism. Though Miller has been involved with other women, his feelings for Kit are clear, and their shared history only deepens the complexity of their relationship.
As the narrative progresses, Miller’s character evolves from a symbol of betrayal to a source of emotional support for Kit, ultimately becoming the man who challenges her to confront her fears and insecurities. Their relationship is complicated, yet the emotional connection they share becomes undeniable.
Maren Fischer
Maren Fischer, Kit’s sister, is an essential part of the emotional fabric of My Favorite Bad Decision. She represents the emotional anchor that Kit tries to protect, yet she is also the source of much of Kit’s guilt and conflict.
Maren’s relationship with Harvey, her husband, is deteriorating, and her longing for a family, despite the failure of their IVF attempts, adds a layer of complexity to her character. She is the sister who has suffered emotional pain, especially because of her past with Miller, and yet she seems to harbor no ill will towards him, creating an underlying tension between her and Kit.
Maren’s pain and desire for stability are palpable throughout the story, and her struggles with Harvey mirror Kit’s own emotional turmoil with Blake. As the story progresses, Maren’s vulnerability becomes evident, and Kit’s deep-seated guilt about her relationship with Miller grows.
Maren’s emotional honesty helps to drive Kit to confront her own feelings, yet it also creates a constant tug-of-war between familial loyalty and romantic desire. Maren’s role in the story is vital, as her own journey of personal growth and healing contrasts with Kit’s, showing the different ways the sisters approach their lives and relationships.
Blake
Blake is the man who has been in Kit’s life for a long time, yet their relationship is one that feels increasingly stagnant and emotionally unfulfilling. Despite being engaged, Kit’s internal conflict about Blake grows as she recognizes that she has been avoiding emotional intimacy with him.
Blake represents the life Kit feels trapped in: a life of superficial expectations, societal pressures, and familial obligations. Though Blake appears well-meaning and supportive, Kit’s feelings for him are more out of obligation and comfort than genuine love.
His proposal and the subsequent events surrounding it highlight the disconnect between them. Kit’s decision to end her engagement to Blake is a pivotal moment in her journey, as it forces her to reckon with her desires and her need to move beyond the life she has been living.
Blake’s presence in the story serves as a reminder of the life Kit has been avoiding—one that lacks authenticity and emotional connection—and his eventual departure allows Kit the space to pursue her own happiness.
Harvey
Harvey, Maren’s husband, is another character who adds to the emotional tension in the book. His relationship with Maren is deteriorating, and much of their conflict stems from their inability to connect emotionally, especially regarding their struggles with infertility.
Harvey’s presence in the story highlights the emotional voids in the characters’ lives and the complexities of relationships built on superficial foundations. His interactions with Maren mirror the disconnection that Kit feels in her own relationship with Blake, further complicating the dynamics between the two sisters.
While Harvey’s role is more passive than other characters, his failed marriage to Maren underscores the importance of emotional honesty and vulnerability, something Kit and Miller will eventually come to understand. Harvey’s struggles serve as a backdrop to Kit’s journey of self-discovery, offering a contrast to the emotional awakening that Kit experiences with Miller.
Themes
Self-Discovery and Personal Growth
Kit’s journey up Mount Kilimanjaro is not merely a physical challenge; it serves as a pivotal turning point in her life, pushing her to confront long-suppressed emotional turmoil and forcing her to reassess the trajectory of her personal and professional choices. Throughout the story, Kit is initially portrayed as a woman who has spent much of her life in the bubble of privilege, protected from the harsh realities that most others face.
The climb is a metaphor for her deeper, emotional journey where she must contend with her past, her relationships, and her expectations for the future. This experience allows her to begin the painful yet necessary process of self-discovery.
As she battles the physical demands of the climb, she also wrestles with her feelings of guilt, resentment, and the uncertainty of her future. Her internal dialogue is a reflection of someone beginning to dismantle the walls they have built around themselves and come to terms with what truly matters to them.
The climb forces Kit to question her career choices, her relationship with her fiancé, and even her loyalty to her sister. The eventual realization that she has neglected her own happiness for the sake of others’ expectations marks a crucial shift in her character arc.
By the end of the story, Kit’s willingness to embrace her desires, regardless of the emotional fallout, symbolizes her ultimate growth. She chooses to step into an uncertain future, not bound by the chains of societal expectations but empowered by the possibility of self-authenticity.
Family Dynamics and Loyalty
The tension in Kit’s family relationships plays a critical role in shaping her emotional landscape. Kit’s relationship with her sister Maren is at the heart of much of the internal conflict she experiences throughout the story.
The complicated history with Miller, who was once involved with Maren, serves as a constant reminder of the fragile nature of loyalty and the potential for betrayal within family bonds. Kit’s struggle to reconcile her feelings for Miller with her loyalty to her sister highlights the difficult choices that many people face when their own desires conflict with familial expectations.
Kit’s internal battle intensifies as she grows closer to Miller, and the guilt she feels about potentially hurting Maren becomes a major emotional hurdle. The story also sheds light on the superficial aspects of Kit’s family dynamics, particularly with her mother, whose focus on appearances and status exacerbates Kit’s feelings of being misunderstood and disconnected.
While her family members seem more concerned with their social standings and outward appearances, Kit begins to realize that her personal happiness cannot be dictated by the desires or expectations of those around her. As she evaluates her relationship with Blake and her role in the family, Kit’s decision to prioritize her own emotional well-being, even at the risk of damaging her familial bonds, speaks to the theme of loyalty—both to oneself and to loved ones—and the difficult decisions that come with it.
Guilt, Regret, and Redemption
Guilt is a constant undercurrent throughout the story, especially when it comes to Kit’s relationships with Miller and Maren. Kit’s feelings of guilt are not just tied to her romantic entanglement with Miller but also to her perceived role in the unraveling of her sister’s life.
As she navigates the emotions of love and betrayal, Kit constantly grapples with the idea that pursuing her own happiness might come at the cost of destroying the relationships that matter most to her. The guilt Kit feels is compounded by her past grief over the death of Rob, her former lover, which continues to haunt her throughout the narrative.
Her unresolved emotions about Rob’s death make it difficult for her to move forward, as she holds onto the past and the idealized versions of her relationships. However, as Kit confronts the realities of her life and the consequences of her actions, she comes to understand that her quest for redemption is not just about making amends with others but also about forgiving herself.
Her journey becomes one of recognizing that living a life of regret, where she sacrifices her desires for the sake of others, would only lead to a future marked by bitterness and unfulfilled dreams. Kit’s eventual decision to confront her guilt, embrace the mistakes she has made, and choose a path of personal happiness represents her emotional redemption.
Her ability to accept the flaws in her relationships and seek forgiveness from herself is a key element in her evolution.
Love, Desire, and Relationships
Love and desire are central to Kit’s emotional journey, and her exploration of these themes is both complex and poignant. At the start of the story, Kit is in an engagement with Blake, yet she feels emotionally distant from him, unsure of her true feelings.
This disconnect between them points to the larger theme of love as something that can be fraught with uncertainty, especially when individuals are unsure of their own needs. Kit’s growing attraction to Miller, despite the complexities of their shared history, forces her to confront her unresolved feelings and question what it means to love someone.
Her relationship with Miller, filled with tension and lingering resentment, evolves throughout the story, revealing a deep, emotional connection that transcends the surface-level animosity between them. The chemistry between Kit and Miller is undeniable, yet Kit’s internal conflict about pursuing a relationship with him, especially given her ties to Maren, speaks to the broader themes of forbidden love and the complexities of desire.
The guilt she experiences as she navigates these emotions makes it clear that love is not always simple or straightforward, and desires can conflict with loyalty, responsibility, and familial ties. Ultimately, Kit’s ability to embrace her feelings for Miller, despite the consequences, reflects her growing recognition that love is not something to be confined by the expectations of others or by past mistakes.
Love, in its purest form, is about personal fulfillment, and Kit’s willingness to risk everything for a chance at happiness with Miller signifies her emotional growth and the courage to pursue authentic connection.
The Burden of Expectations
The pressure of living up to the expectations of her family and society weighs heavily on Kit throughout the story. Her father’s insistence on sending her on the Kilimanjaro trip to push her beyond her comfort zone, as well as her mother’s preoccupation with appearances and social standing, highlight the constant external pressure Kit faces.
These expectations shape her decisions and emotional state, creating a sense of disconnection between Kit and the life she feels she is supposed to lead. She finds herself constantly performing for the approval of her family, working in her father’s media empire and adhering to the norms of her social circle, yet feeling deeply dissatisfied.
The climb up Kilimanjaro, though physically demanding, becomes symbolic of Kit’s struggle to break free from these expectations and forge her own path. As she comes to realize that much of her unhappiness is a result of trying to meet the standards set for her, Kit begins to see the possibility of living for herself, regardless of others’ opinions.
Her decision to end her engagement with Blake and pursue a relationship with Miller is a direct challenge to the life she has been expected to lead, and the story portrays the emotional toll that comes with breaking free from the societal constraints placed on her. Ultimately, Kit’s choice to prioritize her happiness over the approval of her family signals her rejection of the life she was supposed to lead and her embrace of a future shaped by her own desires and decisions.